Like We're 15 Again
by SomethingAboutAllison
Summary: In high school, Austin Moon and Ally Dawson were best friends. But when Ally moved to New York for college and Austin stayed in Miami, they lost contact. Six years later, they meet again - and they have a lot of catching up to do. Auslly - Ally Dawson & Austin Moon.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi there! So this is my new Auslly story, and it's something totally different than The Summer of Us. I hope you guys like it!  
**

**Summary: In high school, Austin Moon and Ally Dawson were best friends. But when Ally moved to New York for college and Austin stayed in Miami, they lost contact. Six years later, they meet again - and they have a lot of catching up to do. **

**Disclaimer: If I owned Austin Moon, Ally Dawson, or Austin & Ally, I'd have better things to do than sit here writing fanfiction. Jk. I'd still probably write fanfiction because I love it. Anyways...**

**Enjoy! :)**

* * *

"Hi, I'll have a tall iced caffé Americano, please," a slightly frazzled Ally Dawson says as she digs around in her purse for money to pay for her Starbucks drink. She comes up with the money and hands it to the barista. She feels just a tiny bit of guilt; her music store, Sonic Boom, is losing business and she's sitting around drinking expensive coffee? She settles her mind by telling herself she's investing in her sanity. She's investing in a few quiet moments by herself, plus the caffeine will help her say awake to go over bills for the store.

Her drink is ready and she sits at a table with her laptop. She opens her work inbox, which is flooded with invoices. She rubs her temples and takes a swig of iced coffee. She tries to focus on the screen in front of her, but she's distracted. She's looking around the café staring at random things like... well, like a morbidly exhausted 25-year-old woman running on expensive coffee and false hope.

As her eyes wander around the store, something catches her eye. Well some_one_, rather. A cute blond guy clearing a table. He has nice hair, he's fairly tall, his short sleeve shirt is showing off his arms, he's-

Oh shit.

Oh _shit. _

She can't really believe it when she recognizes him. Only one person would be able to rock hair like that, would laugh like that, would have that spring in his step.

It has to be him.

Austin Moon.

She hopes he'll come over her way. She hasn't seen him in almost six years. When she went off to college in New York and he stayed in Miami, they had lost contact. But there he is, mere feet away.

He almost walks past her, but he doesn't. "Ally?" he sputters, like he can't believe it. Her face lights up. "Austin!" she exclaims, standing up and giving him a hug. He holds her for a moment. "I thought you were still in New York!" he exclaimed, slightly confused but clearly happy to see her.

"I finished school and came back to Miami to help my dad with the business...oh my gosh, how have you been?" she asks, suddenly overwhelmed by just how much catching up they have to do.

"That's great, I mean...that's awesome! How long are you here?" he asks, running a rag along the table to at least look like he's working. She exhales. "I'm not really sure yet. I'm just playing it by ear right now. It depends on how things go," she explains, referring to the ever-demanding business of running the music store.

"Well, um, I get off my shift in fifteen, maybe twenty minutes, could you stick around?" he says, looking around the store. She nods, maybe a little to exuberantly. "Yeah, of course! I'll be right here," she says with a grin. He smiles back and disappears behind the counter.

She tries not to watch him as he's waiting on customers, calling out names, joking around with his co-workers. He was cute when they were in high school, but now he's straight-up _hot_. His wild blond hair has calmed down a little bit, but it's still definitely noteworthy. He's muscular and tall and he smiles the way a male love interest in a romantic comedy would. He's still goofy and fun though. She stares blankly at her computer screen and eventually answers a few emails and pays a few bills.

Austin comes over holding a caramel frappuccino. Ally smiles. "Have you become a coffee addict since high school?" she jokes. He rolls his eye. "Hey, I'm doing the store a favor. This is one of the rejects, someone made an extra I guess. Apparently I'm...Emma now," he muses, reading the Sharpie-scrawl name on the side of the plastic cup. Ally laughs. "Well, Emma, how have you been?" she asks, closing her laptop.

He opens his arms, gesturing around the small café. "Livin' the dream," he says hempenly, eliciting a giggle from Ally before she smacks his arm gently. "I'm serious! Are you still in music?" she asks, propping her elbows up on the table.

"Trying to. It's so much different now than it was ten years ago, you know? I'm not a kid anymore, and it's tough. Plus when you went to college, I had a lot of trouble putting out new material," he admits. She's flooded with memories of late-night songwriting sessions, writing music, of when they used to have their songwriter/singer partnership. She smiles, and he interrupts her thoughts.

"Do you still write songs?" he asks, a grin curving his lips slightly. She shrugs. "I try to, but like you said, it's so different now. I'm so much busier and less creative. It's hard," she admits. She suddenly realizes how much she's opening up to him. Then she remembers that she's talking to Austin, the Austin she used to tell everything, the Austin who listened, the Austin she loved.

"You should get back into songwriting, Miss MUNY," he says, and she smiles. "I would certainly be open to trying. With the way everything is right now, I kind of have to be open to anything," she says vaguely. Of course, Austin isn't at all satisfied with this. "What do you mean?" he asks, cocking his head.

She sighs, then waves a dismissing hand. "It's nothing, really. Just a lot of responsibility trying to run the store while looking for a real job and settling back into Miami and everything," she explains. He nods, and she knows he's really, truly listening.

"Trust me, the Ally Dawson I know can definitely handle herself," he assures her. And it occurs to her that maybe the Ally Dawson he knows isn't even her anymore. Maybe she's changed.

"Thanks, I'm scraping by," she says, taking another sip of iced coffee. He looks at her. "You're different," he states, as if he's reading her thoughts.

She furrows her eyebrows and leans in a little closer across the table. "Good different or bad different?" she asks quietly. He smiles and lays his hand on top of hers. "I don't know for sure yet, but I'm thinking it's a good different," he whispers.

This makes her smile, and suddenly she doesn't mind being different anymore.

"Thanks. You're a good different too," she says beaming. He leans in closer. "Ally?" he says, as much of a question as it is a statement. "Hmm?" she asks.

"I'm not losing you again."

She stops. She almost asks him to explain, but she doesn't. She wants to leave that open for her own interpretation.

"I'm not losing you either," she assures him as she grabs his hand. He scans her eyes for a moment.

"Here, contact info," he says, opening his phone so she can put her number in. She adds her mobile, home, work, and e-mail, perhaps to solidify her point that she was _not_ losing contact with him for a second time. He smiles when he sees this. He does the same thing in her phone, adding his mobile, home, work, email, and even his apartment address.

"Is this an open invitation for me to come knocking on your door whenever I want?" she asks jokingly. He flashes a grin. "I wouldn't mind it," he admits, completely seriously. As Ally is putting her phone away, the time catches her eye, and she needs to get back to the store.

"Crap, I really need to get going, I need to get to the shop... I'll see you though, okay? We could grab lunch or something," she suggests as she packs up her laptop. Austin nods. "Definitely. I'll see you, Ally," he says, stepping forward to give her a hug. His palms press against her back, her nose brushes against his shoulder, and suddenly they're hanging on just a moment too long.

"I'll see you later," she says hurriedly as she leaves the cafe. He nods and starts making his way to the back door where his car is.

They both look back, then quickly away.

Then smile.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello wonderful people. So I wrote a lot of this story in advance, but then I decided I hated it and I'm re-writing a ton of it. I'll try to update as frequently as I can, but I don't want to rush this story and end up with a quick, crappy product. I have a habit of doing that. Anywho, enjoy the update. -Lo**

* * *

The music store isn't awful busy, which is both good and bad. It's good because Ally has time to think. She catches up on work she didn't get done at Starbucks because of a certain blond-haired boy.

She sighs; it's such a weird situation. She used to be best friends with Austin, but now they were strangers. Strangers with a history.

She wants to see him so badly. She wants to just be with him. She wants to be his friend and partner again.

As soon as she gets home to her apartment, she calls his cell phone. He answers quickly. "Hey Als," he chirps. She smiles.

"Hey Austin, I was just wondering if you were doing anything tomorrow. We could go to lunch or something," she suggests hopefully.

"That sounds good. I'm working the evening shift tomorrow so I'm free for lunch," he says. She smiles to herself.

"Awesome, how about meeting at Sonic Boom tomorrow at noon the going from there?" she asks. Suddenly she feels like a kid in high school. She feels like she did when she asked Dallas to dance with her at Trish's quiñceanera. This memory causes fear of rejection to creep into her mind, but he settles these fears.

"I'll be there. See you tomorrow, Ally," he says cheerfully. "Bye, Austin, see you tomorrow," she exclaims. She hangs up the phone and lets out an exuberant yelp before running over to her closet to pick out something to wear.

* * *

Austin strolls into the music store at promptly noon the next day. Ally is excited to see him. "Hey," he greets. He's wearing a plaid collared shirt with a purple sweater. He looks so classy and smart and cute. She smiles.

"Hey Austin," she says, giving him a hug. He smells like cologne and coffee grounds, which Ally finds cute and fitting.

"Where are we headed for lunch?" he asks, his hand still on her shoulder. She bites her lip. "Your choice," she says nonchalantly. He grins. "How about my place?" he suggests, sounding a bit too giddy.

She gives him a slightly suspicious smile, and he responds with a glare. "Come on, Als, don't you trust me?" he says, his lips twisting out into a pouty face.

She grins. "Fine, of course I trust you. Your place it is," she says. He smiles triumphantly and holds her hand as he leads her out. She locks up the store and they move towards the parking lot.

"Nice car," she muses as they walk up to a teeny tiny red sedan. He points at her defensively. "Hey, I love my tiny car," he says. She laughs and rolls her eyes.

On the way to his house, the talked about work. She learned he had earned degrees in music and business in four-year college. He had worked as a flight attendant for a year or so, but he quit because all the traveling and being weird places at weird times sucked. He then got a job as a drug rep, but he got laid off when the drug was discontinued. He had been working at Starbucks for a year or so.

They pull up to an apartment building and take the elevator up to the fourth floor. He opens apartment 412.

"This is it," he says as he opens the door. The apartment is bigger than Ally expected it to be. He has a nice kitchen, a living room area, and even a little bar. It's not really messy, just lived in. It's a lot like Austin.

"Cute," she says, looking around. He smiles. "Yeah, I take pride in having my own place. Now, what shall we do about lunch?" he asks, walking over to the fridge.

She shrugs. "Anything's fine with me," she says. He takes a box of pasta out of the pantry. "Spaghetti it is."

She laughs and goes to the kitchen to help him. She fills a pot with water for the pasta and sets it on the stove. "So I see you haven't become any better at cooking since high school?" she says playfully. He rolls his eyes. "Laugh all you want, but I'm better than most guys. I only get take-out, like, three times a week," he says. And for some reason she find this hilarious and bursts out laughing.

Austin smiles and shakes his head at her. "Let me tell you something, Dawson, you're just as crazy as you used to be," he says as he bustles around the kitchen.

Together they finish cooking and sit down on his couch to eat their meal. He looks over at her for a moment, and she cocks and eyebrow.

"What?" she asks, just a little defensive. He smiles. "You're just...so completely and utterly Ally Dawson," he says, "It's like you're different, because you grew up. You're a little more tired and more busy, but you're still _you_. You still believe what you did back then," he explains.

She stops and thinks about this for a second. She had never thought about it that way, but it's true. She still wanted the same things. She still liked the same things. She was just...a grown up now.

She decides to take his remark as a compliment. "You're exactly the same," she muses, and he laughs. "I really am. I'm still just a kid trying to make it big," he admits, eating his spaghetti. She smiles. "I knew you wouldn't grow up, even back then. You're so hopeful and optimistic, and I really like that about you," she says, eliciting and sincere grin from Austin.

"Thanks, Ally. I don't feel that way sometimes though, you know? Honestly, it's hard without Team Austin. It's different," he says. She smiles and lays her hand on top of his. "Well we have each other now," she says, but then she corrects herself. "I mean, we have each other again."

He nods and squeezes her hand, and that's all the reply she needs.


	3. Chapter 3

When Ally goes home from Austin's house, she flops on her bed. It's like Austin has some power over her. She feels like a teenage girl when she's with him. She isn't so stressed, she isn't worried about invoices and taking care of her dad and running Sonic Boom. She isn't worried about the future and the maybes. She's just her, and that's completely and utterly alarming.

She sighs. She drags herself up off the bed and goes back to her computer to answer some work-related e-mails. She decides she can't focus anymore, and she shuts her laptop and takes a shower. For the first time in a long time, she finds herself singing in the shower again.

* * *

She beats her alarm clock the next morning, a seemingly habitual action that annoyed her to no end. She gets herself up and dresses in a navy skirt and a flowered top. She drives to Sonic Boom, and she's running fifteen minutes ahead of schedule. Typical Ally.

She unlocks the store and enjoys a few moments of solitude, just her and the baby grand piano. The store opens and her day begins, and that constitutes of teaching piano lessons, recommending violin sizes, showing customers trumpets, and a million other things.

When her lunch break finally arrives, she decides she needs some coffee to rejuvenate her. Even though there's a coffee shop only a few stores away from Sonic Boom, she decides to walk all the way across the mall to the Starbucks. She convinces herself that it's not for any good reason. Especially not a tall blonde reason. With bright eyes and a great smile. Of course not.

But to her dismay, Austin isn't there. She's waited on by a handsome guy with spiky black hair and icy blue eyes, and he's cute, but he's certainly not Austin.

She tries not to be disappointed, but she is. Just a little.

She orders her iced coffee and takes it back to the store. As she walks, she's searching strangers' faces for Austin, but her never appears. However, all her Austin-searching pursuits are abandoned when she returns to the store, where she has customers to wait on and a piano lesson to teach.

The day finally ends, and she's closing up. She's fixing a violin display when her dad approaches her.

"Hey sweetie, can we talk for a second?" he says, his tone wavering just slightly. She turns around, her eyes full of concern. "What is it, dad?" she asks.

His expression twists a little, and he exhales deeply. "Alright, I'm just going to come out and say it. I've been going to the doctor's, and they told me that, um, I've...I have leukemia..."

Her jaw falls and tears sting with her eyes. She takes a step back. "Dad..." she whispers. He shakes his head and puts a hand on her shoulder. "Ally, don't be scared. I can get chemotherapy, and the survival rate is pretty high for the kind I have," he says softly. He even manages a small smile. It doesn't soothe her at all.

"Daddy..." is all she can find to say as she wraps her arms around him, tears falling freely now. "When did you find out?" she asks softly.

He looks down. "A few weeks ago," he admits, "right before you decided to come back to Miami. But I promise, I'll try as hard as I can to keep things the same, okay baby girl?" he says, his eyes misting over.

She closes her eyes and holds him tightly. "I love you, Dad," she murmurs, though her voice is stained with tears. She feels his arms wrap tighter around her.

"I love you too, Ally. And I know you'll take good care of me," he soothes. And suddenly she feels so weak. She feels helpless. She just needs her dad.

They stay that way, in the middle of the store, until her sobbing subsides. "Are you going to be okay?" he asks as she pulls away. She offers an unhumorous laugh. "I think I'm supposed to be asking you that question," she says hempenly. He smiles. "That's my little girl, always looking out for me," he muses. He tucks some brunette hair behind her ear, and for some reason her eyes snap closed. Like she doesn't want to let go of that tiny little touch. Just in case it's the end.

And he holds her, just in case it's the end.

* * *

Ally gets up the next day, and everything's different. She doesn't really mean to, but she dresses in all black. She looks in the mirror, then changes into a white shirt and a black skirt. Half-hopeful, half-grim. It works.

She goes to the store to open up. She's lost in thoughts and mental to-do lists when she spots someone. Austin.

"Good morning," she greets, putting on a brave face for him, complete with a smile and everything. He shakes his head. "I know about your dad," he says. Her brave face crumbles. "How'd you find out?" she asks softly, subconsciously wondering if maybe she was the last to know.

"Our parents are still best friends, you know," he says softly. He stands up and wraps his arms around her. She closes her eyes and holds him.

"Is he coming into the store today?" Austin asks. She nods against his chest. "He said he'll come in for the second half of the day," she says. He pulls away from here, but keeps his hands on her shoulders. "I'll stay with you, okay? to watch the store and keep you company," he says. She gives a half smile and thanks him and she unlocks the doors of Sonic Boom.

"Also, I brought you this," he says, handing her a tall iced caffé Americano. She looks up at him. "You remembered," she says softly as she grabs the plastic cup.

He nods. "Hey, you deserve to have someone taking care of you," he says. She smiles, and this time it's real. It's not just a half-smile. It's real.

"You're sweet, Austin," she says quietly. He smiles and hugs her again. "I can only try."

Customers start coming in and lessons start, but Austin sticks it out the whole morning. He's actually helpful, dealing with customers and fixing displays. He even teaches a guitar lesson because Ally accidentally double-booked.

At the end of the shift, Ally approaches him. "Austin, thank you so much for helping me out today. You made it a lot easier," she says. He smiles and squeezes her hand. "It's no problem, Als. Now come on. Let's go get some lunch," he suggests. She sighs and nods. Maybe this is what she needs for now. To not worry about the store or her dad or even her own sanity. Maybe she just needs to take a step back from everything, just for a little while. Maybe Austin is giving her exactly what she needs.


	4. Chapter 4

"How are you feeling, Dad?" Ally asks for the millionth time. They're at the hospital, and her dad just got his first round of chemo. He gives her a weak smile.

"I swear, Ally, you're taking better care of me than the nurses are! Don't worry, I'm fine, okay?" he assures her, reaching out to touch her hand. She sighs; maybe he's right.

"Alright Dad, I'll be a little less clingy," she says with a smile. He returns the gesture, but his is a little more pale and strained. She kisses his head. "Do you want me to go back to the store now?" she asks. It's a Wednesday, and she came to see him on her lunch break.

He nods. "You can go back whenever you want. I'm fine here, sweetie," he assures her. She gives him another hug and leaves the hospital.

* * *

She's just wrapping up an oboe lesson when he walks in. "Hi Austin," she says. He smiles and furrows his eyebrows with concern, as it to ask _are you okay?_ She smiles back at him. She dismisses her student and invites Austin to sit with her.

"My dad's doing pretty well. They started his first round of chemo today," she says, but her tone is a little uncertain, like maybe she's still trying to convince herself. He brushes it off, and she's thankful for that.

"That's good. Did you visit him at the hospital today?" he asks. A part of her wonders if conversations like this will become normal- conversations containing words like _'chemo_' and '_hospital_'. It scares her. It's not even the future that scares her, not exactly. It's the changing.

"Yeah, I took a long lunch and went to see him," she says hempenly. His expression is concerned as he puts his hand on her shoulder. "He'll be fine, Als." His voice is soft and genuine, and she feels like she's wrapped in a warm towel, fresh out of the dryer. She sighs. "Thanks, Austin. I know," she says quietly. He puts his fingers on her cheeks and pulls her mouth up into a smile. This makes her giggle just slightly. Just a little.

Without another word, Austin goes behind the counter and helps customers. He's so nice. He even helps her out with a piano lesson; well, he actually just makes goofy faces and a lot of noise, but he's funny and charming and the little girl getting the piano lesson appreciates it.

"You know you don't have to do this," she mentions as they're closing the store. He shrugs. "I like being here. It's fun, and it reminds me of when we used to be friends in high school. Plus, I've been working evenings a lot, so I have nothing better to do during the days. I might as well hang out with my favorite long-lost songwriting partner," he says, nudging her with his elbow. She bites her lip to hide the goofy smile she feels spreading across her face, but she can't do anything about the pink blush rushing to her cheeks.

"Thanks," she says quietly. They finish closing the store and leave the mall. "I'll walk you to your car," he offers. She shakes her head. "Oh no, you don't have to do that," she says, her voice a tad frazzled as she digs through her purse for her keys.

"I want to," he insists. She gives a smile of gentle resignation and they head out to the parking lot.

"So do you mind if I go to the store again tomorrow?" he asks. She shakes her head. "Of course not! I mean, I'll probably need the help," she says, careful not to mention the reason why. She doesn't want to talk about it.

"Yeah. I just don't want to bug you if you'd rather not have me around," he says. She shakes her head fervently. "You know I love having you around," she assures him. He shrugs.

"I guess I feel like...maybe it's just weird? You know? It's like, we're best friends and strangers at the same time," he says. She's a little surprised at his words, but she knows what he means.

"It's weird, that's for sure. But I like it. I don't feel as lonely when I'm with you. It's like you bring back something I've lost," she admits. He smiles and takes her hand in his.

"I feel that too," he whispers. She's not sure what to do next; words don't feel right. So she wraps her arms around his neck and holds herself to him, just for a few moments.

A beat passes. "I'll see you tomorrow," he says quietly.

She nods. "Tomorrow," she repeats. He smiles, then turns and leaves.

She watches him as he goes. Unspoken words dangle in the air like stars and consequences, and it all blends together until night comes and darkens everything.

* * *

He beats her to she store the next morning. "You know, I should probably just hire you as a full time employee," she remarks as she opens the doors. He smiles. "Not necessary. I don't need the money, you can just pay me in your company," he says. She finds this impeccably sweet and smiles at him.

They go into the store and get it ready to open, unloading new merchandise and re-arranging things. Ally only has a few lessons to teach, and the store isn't super busy either. For a lot of the morning, Austin sits on the counter playing guitar while Ally plays piano, answers e-mails, and helps whatever customers come in.

About ten minutes before her lunch break, Austin approaches her. "Do you mind if I come with you to see your dad?" he asks.

She thinks for a second, then shakes her head. "You can come if you want. It'd probably be good for him, to see more faces," she says. He smiles. "Thanks, Ally. Here, I'll drive."

And with that, they were off to the hospital to visit her dad. As they pull up to the enormous white campus, he reaches out and squeezes her hand. "Are you ready?" he asks softy. She nods, and she swears that he holds on just a little longer than he has to.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Another day, another chapter. Thanks to my darling NimbusSeeker70 for motivating me and helping me re-strategize with this. And also bugging me about formatting. Lol. Enjoy!**

* * *

"Hi Daddy," Ally says softly as she enters the hospital room. He doesn't look as good as he did yesterday; he looks more tired. He still manages to smile though.

"Hey sweetie," he says softly. His eyes glaze across Austin's face, then he does a double take. "Austin!" he says as he recognizes him.

He smiles. "Hi Mr. Dawson, how're you feeling?" he asks politely.

Mr. Dawson nods. "I'm not so bad, tired though," he says.

Austin smiles again. "That's good. I can assure you I've been taking good care of the store and of Ally," he says.

Ally's dad smiles at this. "I'm glad to hear that," he says, and Ally notices the difference in his voice. He's less enthusiastic, more dutiful, less hopeful. She supposes that a blank hospital room and a bleak future would do that to anyone.

"You seem tired, Dad, we'll let you go," she says softly. He nods, and she goes over to kiss his cheek. "Bye pumpkin," he whispers. She replies with a quick _"bye daddy"_and they leave the room.

"He's different," Austin says softly as they walk down the stark white hallways.

"He didn't used to be that way," she responds hempenly. He stands in front of her, then stops.

"He'll be okay though. You know he will," he soothes. She exhales. "I _don't_ know, though," she replies. And suddenly she's scared. She's just a girl who could lose her dad, and that's scary. Especially since he's all she has left.

Austin puts a hand on her shoulder. "Even if things change, you'll be okay though, right? Because you're strong and brave and resilient."

"I'm not any of that," she protests quickly, pulling away from him.

He shakes his head. "Ally, you are. Back when we were teenagers, I know you would've stayed positive and kept your head on straight through all of this. That's the kind of girl you are, and I know that hopeful girl is still in you, even if time and invoices and growing up have buried her a little. You can't let anything scare you. And if you do get scared, just remember we're in this together."

She stops. Her eyes meet his, and he's completely sincere. "Thank you," is all she can find to say. She wraps her arms around him and they hug for a moment before he takes her hand and they continue walking.

"Hi," Ally greets the woman behind the desk as she signs out on the visitor sheet. The woman smiles. She's African American with short black hair, and looks to be maybe forty. She smiles at Ally, then turns to Austin.

"It's very sweet of you to be visiting your father-in-law at the hospital," she says with a wide grin.

Austin's cheeks turn slightly pink at this. "Oh, he's not my father-in-law," he explains politely.

"Not yet?" she asks, feigning surprise. She laughs, and Austin and Ally exchange awkward smiles and glances.

"Goodbye ma'am," Ally says politely before leaving. On the way out, Austin nudges her with his elbow. "Father-in-law..." he repeats with a chuckle. They get in his car and start heading back to Sonic Boom.

And it's silly, but this exchange makes her smile for the whole ride back.

* * *

Ally walks into her apartment and sighs. Since when was her life so complicated? She's always been a safe, boring person, leading a safe and somewhat boring life. But suddenly she's single-handedly running a music store while nursing her dying father and falling in love with her long-lost best friend? It doesn't make sense. Plus she's totally unprepared for everything life is throwing at her.

Especially the Austin thing.

She knows she shouldn't be falling for him, but she can't help it. He's so sweet to her, even when she's a mess. Which frankly is most of the time. She realizes that he was like that in high school too. High school. The memories of her and Austin are bittersweet. They had a lot of fun together, plus a great songwriting partnership. They hung out every day. And even back then, she somehow managed to fall in love with him.

And that's just the thing.

She never told him. She was always too scared of ruining their friendship and partnership. So for those years they spent together, she was always politely silent on her true feelings towards him, never bringing it up and denying accusations. Silently smiling when his gaze met hers. Shoving down butterflies when he hugged her. Replaying memories of late nights spent together. All done carefully and quietly, so he'd never notice.

Of course, she had regrets. She asked 'what if'. She wondered. Because friends are lost so easily, but girlfriends aren't. Maybe she wouldn't have lost him in the first place if they had been dating.

Sometimes she imagines a life where she's brave. She'd walk right up to Austin and pour her heart out the second she realized her feelings for him. They'd fall in love and they'd go to New York together. And instead of losing each other, they'd be running away together. Everything would change.

Maybe if she had Austin to love her, she'd be different. Maybe she'd be happier. Or maybe she'd confess her love and he'd shoot her down and everything would've been ruined.

She rubs her temples. She decides that she needs to sleep on everything. As she lays in bed creating scenarios of a high-school relationship between her and Austin, she determines that the only thing worse than fear is regret.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hello amazing people. I had a lot of issues with not being satisfied with this fic. I re-wrote this chapter five times, and I think I'm finally working through it. Sorry for not posting as often, but I'm trying to really take my time with this. Thanks for reading! -Lo**

* * *

Cars. Keys. Piano. Austin. Charts. Questions. Waiting. Austin. Faces. Paperwork. Fear. Austin. Cars. Keys. Oboe. Austin. Guitar. Keys. Phone. Austin.

That's a typical day in the life of Ally Dawson. Well, lately it is. Basically she and Austin run the store, Austin takes over while she goes to see her dad, then she comes back until closing time. It's a weird life because it's so routine, yet so wavering and scary. Anything could fall out of balance. Then again, isn't that how it always goes?

She's on her way to the hospital to visit him. Traffic is slow and giving her a chance to think. Her dad has been getting chemo, and he's not doing too bad. She doesn't want to get her hopes up though. She knows that with a disease like cancer, nothing is guaranteed.

She's not so scared of death. Not like most people. Her mom died when she was nineteen, so it's not like she hasn't been there. The flowers, the sympathy, the clichés. She knows what it's like. In all honesty, Ally didn't connect with her mom that much. Of course, she was important to her; she was her _mother_, after all. But she was always working and traveling generally gone. She missed most of Ally's teen years when she was in Africa studying biology. There were big holes in their relationship, not because of conflicts, just because they didn't get a chance to bond. She died of a rare disease transmitted by contaminated drinking water while she was in Africa. The news was sudden, but also somewhat expected. She was always gone, it was just permanent now. Ally hates to admit it, but she feels like some of her mother's coworkers would miss her more than she did. Which is an awful thought, but it's perfectly valid.

Ally's dad was her rock, her support system, her everything. He was the one who really raised her from being a confused kid into being a strong young lady. He taught her how to play piano and cultivated her love for music. He showed her fruity mint swirl ice cream and didgeridoo music and how every family is special and perfect in their own way. She loves him, and she feels like if she lost him, she'd be losing everything.

She parks her car at the hospital and goes inside. She knows the routine by heart now- doors, elevator, floor 5, sign in, hallway, left, right, right.

She approaches his room and walks in. "Hi Daddy," she says quietly.

Her dad smiles back meekly. "Hi honey," he says, his voice soft. He looks so tired, and the thinning of his hair as a result of chemo is more evident now.

She takes his hand. "How are you?" she asks quietly.

"Not the best, not the worse," he replies. A beat passes, and she looks around the hospital room.

"Who sent you flowers?" she asks, walking over to a little pot of daisies.

"The Moons," he replies. He's quiet for a moment, then he adds. "Speaking of which, how's Austin doing?" he asks.

She turns around and walks back over to her dad. "He's fine, why?" she asks with a little smile.

Her dad gives her an incredulous look. "Come on, Ally. Have you seen the way he looks at you?"

Ally shakes her head. "Dad, I think you're imagining things. There's nothing..._going on_ between Austin and I," she assures him.

He chuckled weakly. "Ally, Ally. Everyone can see it but you," he insists. She smiles at him.

"Well I'll have you know, he's been exceptionally sweet. Plus he's been a great help to the store," she remarks.

He nods. "He's a good guy, Ally," he says seriously.

She sighs. "Yeah," she agrees quietly.

He smiles, and he looks a little less tired. The nurse enters the room.

"If you don't mind, miss, he needs another round of chemo now," she says kindly.

Ally nods and hugs her dad before leaving. "Bye Dad," she whispers as she kisses his cheek

"Bye sweetie, I'll see you tomorrow. Can you do me a favor?" he asks quietly.

"Of course, anything," she says, her tone deadly serious.

"Let Austin take care of you if he wants to, okay? I know you're strong, and you can do it by yourself, but you shouldn't if you don't have to. Okay?" he says.

She smiles, because he's right. "Alright, dad. I promise," she assures him before she leaves.

He squeezes her hand. "Thank you honey. Bye," he says.

"Bye," she whispers. She smiles politely at the nurse, and as she leaves the hospital, she doesn't feel so alone anymore.

* * *

"Your kindness is getting ridiculous," she informs Austin as they're closing up. "You come here and work for no pay all day, then at night you work at Starbucks, then more in the morning. You're crazy," she says.

She grins and shrugs. "Well first of all, I wouldn't consider this to be 'work'. And second of all, don't worry about it. If I didn't want to come, I wouldn't," he assures her.

She looks at him, her face something between a smile, a frown, and an apology. "Thank you," she says softly.

He takes a step towards her and opens his arms. She smiles and walks forward, her cheek resting against his chest. They hold each other for a moment, and maybe a moment too long. She pulls away first.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he whispers huskily, causing butterflies to erupt in her stomach.

"Yeah, tomorrow," she says quietly. He smiles at her one more time before leaving the store.

She watches him go, and when he's out of sight, she feels alone again.

* * *

Ally wakes up to a text from Austin. _Hey, won't be there till noon today. Have to work :( _She sighs at the text. _Alright, see you then! :)_ she types. Suddenly she's rather dejected at the prospect of a morning working alone.

She drives to Sonic Boom, humming along to the radio. She unlocks the store and prepares for the day. The morning is never busy, so she spends a lot of the time just playing piano and relaxing. It's nice to just have a few moments by herself.

"Excuse me ma'am, can you show me where the trumpets are?" a voice behind her asks.

"Oh sure, they're right behind the tubas, over-" She stops mid-explanation when she turns around and notices it's just Austin messing with her. She hits him in the arm.

"Gotcha," he crows with a little smirk. He hops up and sits on the counter. "So how was your morning?" he asks genuinely.

"Manageable. Not bad. Yours?" she replies, starting to unpack and organize a box of guitar strings.

"It was okay. Busy. Apparently a lot of people like to drink coffee in the morning. Weird, right?" he muses jokingly.

She rolls her eyes. "Speaking of which, you smell like coffee," she says.

"Yeah yeah, I know. A downside of the job," he remarks, crossing his arms.

She laughs. "Such struggle," she says. He rolls his eyes.

She teaches a piano lesson and he helps customers. Around one, she leaves to visit her dad.

"I'm leaving, you got this?" she asks. His expression changes.

"Actually, do you mind if I go with you today?" His voice wavers, just a little.

She furrows her brow. "Why? I mean, I don't mind, but is there a reason?" She hopes she doesn't sound harsh or exclusive, because that's not the case. She just doesn't understand why he'd want to visit a depressing hospital when he could be at the store, which he claims to love.

"I just don't want you going there alone every day. You know?" he says sincerely.

She smiles softly. "Why do you care about me so much?" she asks. Her voice is sweet, but it has a tiny edge, because she wants to know the honest answer.

He picks up on this and sighs. "It's because, well...because I never meant to lose you. I want you to know that all those times I didn't call, it wasn't because I didn't want to see you. It's just because I didn't know how to handle a long-distance friendship. I tried to just move on and forget about it, to make new friends. I couldn't though. You were my partner, my _best_ friend. I couldn't replace you. But by the time I figured that out, years had passed. I didn't think you'd even want to talk to me. I actually thought you hated me. But when I saw you in that café, I knew that I had to take that chance and talk to you if I ever wanted to mend things with us."

Her jaw drops. She's stunned. He actually thought all that?

"I never hated you," she admits breathlessly.

He exhales. "I guess I just needed to know that. And I really do want to take care of you, to make it up to you, for all those months I didn't call you or try to reach you," he says, and there's a strange urgency in his voice, like he'll die if he doesn't get the words out.

"Austin I don't blame you for us not talking. I could've called you..." she starts.

"I still hate that it happened that way though," he says, and the sting is evident in his voice.

She sighs. "Look, let's not worry about the past, okay? We'll just pick up where we left off," she assures him.

He looks at her, and his eyes are different. They're scared and hopeful and are certainly not the eyes of a confident, cool musician. They're the eyes of someone who's just trying to make things right again. "Really?" he asks quietly.

She nods fervently. "Of course," she says, throwing her arms around him. And she doesn't care that she's holding on way too long. She can feel her soft chest pressed tightly up against his firm one. She can feel him breathing. She might have only imagined it, but she could swear she feels his lips kiss the top of her head.

They're silent for a moment. She's about to say something when her phone rings. "Hello?" she inquires softly as she answers.

"Miss Dawson? This is Doctor Ing. I'm calling to inform you that your father's condition has declined, and it'd be in your best interest to come see him," the female voice on the other line says.

Her mouth gapes open. "How bad is he?" she asks, panic creeping into her voice.

"I suggest you come as soon as you can," the doctor says.

"I'll be there in a few minutes," she replies before hanging up. Austin's looking at her, concern in his brown eyes.

"What happened?" he asks softly.

She shakes her head. She doesn't want to say it. "We need to go now," she explains, leaving the store quickly.

They get into his car, and she notices he's driving about ten miles faster than he normally would. He's doing it for her.

She stares absently out the window and tries to keep herself together, but a few tears slip out. Her mind is racing, and she's flashing back to the moment he told her he had leukemia. She's flashing back further, to before. To when she was a little girl walking on the boardwalk eating fruity mint swirl ice cream with her dad. To when he taught her piano. To every memory she has with him.

Austin parks the car. He wordlessly come over and opens her door. She gets out, and he walks with his arm around her. Suddenly she's angry, because Austin isn't her dad. No one will ever be her dad. She's angry that she went to school in New York and didn't stay in Miami with her dad. She's angry that she even tried to start over in New York. She's just angry that this is all happening to her and her dad.

She and Austin make it into the hospital and find her dad's room. Dr. Ing is there.

"How is he?" Austin asks carefully.

The doctor sighs. "His survival rates are about thirty percent right now. And even then, there will probably be complications," she explains.

"He's going to make it. He's going to live," Ally states. And she's angry again.

"We can only hope, Miss Dawson. Would you like to see him?" Dr. Ing asks.

Ally nods. The doctor opens the door and all three of them enter the room.

As soon as her eyes meet him, tears fall. He looks awful. He's exhausted, thin, pale. His pallid skin hangs around him, drooping around his tired eyes. His hair is almost all gone, and he looks older. His eyes are closed. There's a tube in his chest.

"Dad..." she whispers, even though she knows he won't hear her or respond. She stumbles over and puts her hand in his. She touches his cheek gingerly. A sob escapes. He's so cold.

There's this moment where everyone is silent. Everything this silent. Then the doctor speaks.

"We're monitoring his heart. We're giving him chemo, but he's becoming less responsive," she explains.

Ally nods absently. She can't tear her eyes away from her dad. He looks so...broken. She doesn't know how to respond. Her dad was always there for her. And now that it's her turn to be there for him, she's not quite sure what to do. She grabs onto his hand.

"I'm sorry," she chokes, not sure who she's talking to. She's sorry to her dad for not being able to help. She's sorry to Austin for dragging him into her downward spiral of a life. She's sorry to herself for not knowing what to do anymore. For letting everything get so out of hand. So out of her control.

Ally turns to Dr. Ing. "Will he be okay tomorrow?" she asks. She realizes that she sounds like a little kid. She feels like one, too. Scared and helpless.

"I can't promise he will be. With leukemia, you have to worry about blood clotting too easily. If he gets a blood clot in his brain, he'll suffer a stroke, and that could be fatal," she explains. Her words are sharp but her voice is quiet.

Ally bites her lip and allows a few more tears to fall. Austin walks towards her and puts an arm protectively around her. "We'll go out to the waiting room for a while, alright Ally?" he whispers gently. She nods absently.

He nods at the doctor, then walks out to the waiting room. They sit down next to each other and he holds her close. Her tear-stained face is pressed to his chest. She listens to his rhythmic breathing and she's reminded of the way she held tight to her father as a kid. She's reminded of how it felt to fall asleep on his chest. And soon enough, she's asleep on Austin's chest, dreaming of her dad.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Just wanted to give a shoutout to my gurl abiecat! She always leaves the nicest reviews ever. Lovelovelove. **

**Speaking of which, I've been drifting in and out of various states of mental insanity lately because I'm in fucking love. Sigh. Oh well. Hopefull it'll just fuel the writing fire. Anywho, enough about me...**

* * *

"Why did you let me sleep?" Ally asks softly as she wakes up. She's still in the waiting room at the hospital, and she's still nuzzled up on Austin's chest.

"You deserved to. I called in a favor from one of my co-workers and he closed up the store. He let people know you had a family emergency and they were fine with it. Everything's alright, Ally," he soothes. She sits upright. Her eyes are glazed over with sleep.

"Thank you," she whispers. He nods.

"Do you want to check on him? It's been an hour or so," he says.

"You stayed here for an hour?" she asks incredulously.

He gives a gentle smile, a seriousness in his eyes. "Of course I did."

She sighs. "I just want to see him again," she says. He nods and they go back to where he is.

She presses her nose to the glass as stares in. He's awake now, but he looks exactly the same as he did before. He's still so pale and fragile-looking, but this time it stings Ally less because she knows what to expect. She stays like that for a while, just looking at him. Taking him in.

She works up the courage to open the door and walk in. His eyes register her. "Ally..." he croaks meekly. His room is cluttered with half-finished cups of water, untouched food, and clothes. It's reminiscent of a messy hotel room, but more sad.

"Hey Dad, we just came back to, um...to say goodbye," she explains quickly. He nods tiredly and reaches out to touch her hand. She slips her tiny hand in his.

Every person has a few different kinds of smiles. There are the ones that are genuinely warm, that you give to your friends and your family when you're just generally happy. There are polite smiles to strangers. And then there are sad, forced smiles that sting just like tears. Those smiles for the people that need it the most, for the people that can't smile for themselves anymore. Those smiles are for wives who lost their husbands and children who found out that their mom died. They're the saddest kind of smiles. And Ally realizes that's exactly the smile she's giving her dad. A sad, forced, hopeless, apologetic one.

She quickly returns to being expressionless. His face is naturally expressionless. She suddenly feels like she shouldn't be there, like he doesn't even want to see her, even though she knows that's not true. He just looks so tired, like he's not up for anything. She leans over the hospital bed and gives him a weak hug. He's lost so much weight, like maybe parts of him aren't even there anymore. Like little by little, he's losing himself.

"I'll see you tomorrow, alright Ally Gator?" he murmurs. She nods, blinking back tears.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Dad. I love you," she whispers, kissing his cheek. He smiles meekly and closes his eyes.

Very few things change everything. Cancer changes everything. The hospital talk, the visits, the uncertainty. It's so different, and it's awful because there's nothing she as a caring daughter can do but hold on to hope.

"Are you gonna be okay?" Austin asks quietly. She snaps out of her thoughts and nods.

"Yeah," she mouths. He puts his arm around her shoulders, and she remembers what her dad told her about Austin. _Let him take care of you..._

She wraps her arms around Austin's waist. She lets him hold her.

* * *

She decides to keep the music store closed for the rest of the day. She hangs around the hospital for a while more, then Austin leaves to go to work. She leaves not long after.

She's tired. She's exhausted. She's distraught. And she finds herself needing someone.

She thinks about calling Austin. He's always so nice to her, and she loves it. When she's with him, she feels like a carefree kid again. He always knows how to cheer her up, even when she's at her saddest. Like now. She can't call him, though. She's been too demanding of him already. He's at Sonic Boom basically all day working, but he doesn't get paid, plus he has to deal with all of Ally's problems with her dad. She doesn't call. She figures he deserves a break from her life.

* * *

The next day passes quickly and silently. Austin tends to the store all day and Ally drifts back and forth between Sonic Boom and the hospital. Her dad isn't getting any better, but he's also not visibly worse. She still has hope he'll recover, but Dr. Ing is starting to smile at her less, like she knows something. Like she's perfectly aware of what could happen.

She's leaving the hospital for the night when Austin comes up to her. "Hi," he greets gently.

She gives him a timid smile. "Hey," she croaks.

He walks beside her. "Have you talked to Dr. Ing?" he asks.

She nods. "She says it doesn't look...good." She whispers so the words hurt less.

He wraps his arms around her, his hands rubbing her back soothingly. "He's brave. You're brave too," he assures her quietly.

She nods into his strong chest. They're breathing together, moving together. She stays pressed up against him for way too long, but he doesn't make any move to stop her.

* * *

It's almost three in the morning when the phone rings. She looks at the caller ID, and she sees that it's the hospital.

"Hello?" she answers exhaustedly.

"Allyson Dawson? Your father has just suffered a stroke."

She freezes. _A stroke._ It's a loaded word, like _cancer_ or _chemo._ It brings about images and thoughts and tragic stories.

"I'll be right over," she says, with tears in her eyes. She throws on some clothes and jumps into her car.

When she gets to the hospital, she rushes to his room. His bed is surrounded by three nurses, and they're all talking back and forth.

She squeezes her way in and looks at him. He's pale, his skin pallid and scarred, and he's barely moving. His eyes are rolled back into his head. She puts her hand on his chest and hearts his faint, weak heartbeat. She feels her own chest tighten up at this.

"Hi Daddy," she whispers, tears stinging in her eyes. But the words dissipate into the room, breaking down into mere particles that no one can hear. She sits on the edge of his bed and holds his hand. It's cold.

She remembers how when she was a kid and she had cold hands, he'd hold them and warm them up. A few tears slip out of her eyes as she rubs his hand with her small ones, warming him up.

There are moments in life when everything comes full circle. Her dad was always there for her. And even though she can't save her dad, she can still be there for him. It's comforting for her to know that he's dying surrounded by people who wanted to save him, including his daughter. He's dying with someone to warm his hands.

The EKG flatlines. The right side of his body sags first, then all of him. His mouth gapes slightly and he's gone. More doctors rush in, but Ally's mind isn't rushing at all. She's calm. So is he.

She's still holding his hand, but he's not warming up. Not like when she was a kid. The doctors are pushing her away, but she never lets him out of her sight.

The doctors send Ally out. She stands just on the other side of the door, still looking in through the window. She's breathing deeply, breathing for both of them. And suddenly there's too much air, and she's not calm anymore. It's hitting her. It's really hitting her that her dad is gone.

She's alone. She's all alone this time. She finds herself choking on the tears and desperately needing arms around here. She hears someone running down the white hallway towards her. It's Austin.

"I got the call, what's happening?" he asks, his voice saturated with concern and panic. His eyes change when he gets close to her, when he reads her eyes. "Ally..." he breathes gently. She doesn't respond, not at all. Not a flicker of eyes or a pinched smile. She isn't up for sympathy right now. Not yet. For now she just needs arms. She needs arms that lead up into a chest and a heart. And eyes. She needs eyes that will look at her, not through her. Not yet.

Austin holds her close. He doesn't say he's sorry or try to make it better, and she's grateful for that. Because he can't make it better, and he knows that. In that moment, he's right there with her, a part of her. They're the same for a moment. They're the same. For just a moment, she's gone. And that's good. Because everyone leaves at some point. And it's good being gone.


	8. Chapter 8

"We tried to save him. We gave him as much t-PA as we could, but leukemia-related strokes are difficult to combat because of the blood clot's rapid formation and expansion," Dr. Ing explains hempenly. Ally nods.

"I know," she whispers, because it's the only thing she can find to say. Austin's sitting next to her, and he puts his hand over hers. She looks over at him with half-lidded, tired brown eyes. He returns with a sad smile.

"I'm sorry, Ally," Dr. Ing says. Her voice is suddenly softer, and she's not a doctor. She's just a person who's being sympathetic.

"It's okay," Ally whispers, careful not to show too much emotion. Even if she tried for a smile, tears would probably slip out.

Dr. Ing leaves the waiting room and Austin and Ally are left alone together. His hand is still resting gently on top of hers. She considers saying something, but she can't find anything to say. He does.

"You're brave. You know that, right?" he asks quietly, scooting in closer to her.

"I have to be," she replies silently. His fingers interlock with hers, and her eyes smile just slightly.

They sit there together for a while, just breathing, just surviving, just taking each minute as it comes. It's a good feeling. It's better than doctors and explanations and avoiding the subject. It's better than reality. It's a different world, and it's all their own. And it's better.

* * *

The funeral follows soon after. His friends, family, co-workers, and neighbors all show up. They offer Ally sympathy that they think she needs. She's dealing with the aftermath, not just inside her, but outside her. When someone dies, there are so many little questions. Who will run their business? What happens to their house? Who gets the money? Ally hates those questions, because they solidify the goneness. They're the pieces of what broke, and you have to clean them up, whether you're ready to or not.

The funeral happens. She watches them lower her father's coffin into the ground. Austin stands next to her, and everything is perfectly still. Everything is silent for a while.

After the funeral ends, Ally turns to leave. She plans to just go back to her father's former house and work some things out. Throw away food, clean up, pack the house up. Erase him. She doesn't want to, but she knows someone will have to before the house gets sold, and she knows she doesn't want anyone else going through her father's possessions.

Her eyes are red and puffy, just like they have been since the moment it happened, but she manages to drive to his house. Instantly, the familiarity kills her. It's the house she grew up in. It's a white Colonial with black shutters and a circular driveway. There are two massive trees in the front yard. There's a porch with tall columns and a hanging porch light.

The memories come back. Catching fireflies in the front yard. Climbing the tall pine tree by the side of the house. Overturning the cracked piece of cement and the bottom of the porch steps and looking for bugs. Sitting on the stoop waiting for her friends to arrive in the summer. There are tears in her eyes before she even gets out of the car.

She bravely approaches the door, turns the key, and opens it. She walks in and sets her purse down on the cedar chest, just like she always used to set her backpack down there as a kid. It's amazing how some things never change.

It's so quiet. All you can hear are cars passing and dogs barking outside. It's like the house itself can't make any noise, it can just absorb the sounds around it.

She goes into the kitchen and cleans up some dishes and dirty things from a while ago. Her mind wanders aimlessly as she straightens up. More childhood memories hit her like bricks when she glaces out into the backyard. She finds the tree she'd lay under all summer, reading and writing songs. She finds the little fire pit where she'd make s'mores with her dad. She finds the hose she'd attach the sprinkler to and dance around in the water on the hottest summer days. Her eyes fill with tears. It's not the things; it's the memories.

She works up the courage to walk upstairs and go to his bedroom. She knows what to expect; she's been in there a million times before. She just doesn't know what to expect from herself. How do you react to being in your dead father's room?

She's halfway up the stairs when the doorbell rings. She figured it's a salesperson or a mailman who didn't get the memo. She's surprised when she opens the door and sees Austin.

She stands silently in front of him, his brown eyes soft against hers. "If you want me to leave, I will," he says quietly. He looks at his feet shyly, like he knows going there was a bad idea.

She shakes her head. "No, I'm just...I'd appreciate the company," she responds quietly. He stands before her for a moment before nodding and crossing the threshold.

"What are you up to in here?" he asks, carefully nonchalantly. She looks around, blinking back tears.

"Just clearing some things out. I was about to go take a look at his room, do you want to help me?" she suggests slowly. He nods, his eyes bursting with kindness. How did she get do lucky to have someone like him around?

They climb the stairs. Austin is the silent force propelling her forwards, preventing her from turning around. They reach her dad's room and her strong façade fails and dissolves.

His cologne. Pictures of his wedding. Pictures of her mother. His jar of spare change. The snow globe she made for him when she was a little girl. Everything is there.

Except for him.

Suddenly she feels like she should go. Bolt. Run away. She feels like it would be wrong to ever touch or disturb this place, this memory, this piece of her father. Austin senses this and holds her. "You'll have to face it sooner or later," he reminds her, and she nods despondently.

She walks into the room, just a few steps. She looks over and sees his closet. All his clothes. The last time they were touched, it was probably by him. A pang of sadness rushes through her. She walks into his his closet and it immediately smells like him. Tears fill her eyes.

"I can't. Not today," she whispers, looking Austin straight in the eye. He nods understandingly and wraps his arms around her.

"It's okay," he whispers soothingly. He holds her tiny body to his strong one and rubs her back in slow circles. She sobs gently into his chest. Her eyes close and suddenly she just wants to go away.

"Austin? I need you to just...distract me for a while, okay?" she says. She feels guilty; she shouldn't want to focus on other things when her dad just died. But she feels like she needs to. She just needs to get away for a while.

"I know just what to do. You'll be fine, alright? It's okay to forget for a little while," he says quietly. She nods and they walk out to his car together.

* * *

The two go back to his apartment. They walk up to his apartment quietly because her head is still in her dad's house. She's trying to just relax for a while, but she feels guilty. Regardless, she follows him as he walks through the front door.

"So, what do you have planned for the evening?" she asks as she walks in and sits on his couch. He sits down next to her, lazily resting his feet on the coffee table.

"Well, we could watch a movie, that sound okay?" he asks.

She nods. "That's fine, as long as it's not a boring horror movie," she says.

He rolls his eyes. "Yes, yes, Ally, go on and tell everyone how watching people getting eaten by swamp monsters is so utterly boring compared to cloud watching," he drawls derisively. She hits him in the arm. Her guard is falling, and it feels good. It feels better than reality.

"Hey, cloud watching is fun. Anyways, what movie should we watch?" she asks.

He shrugs. "Doesn't matter to me. Pick something you like," he says, handing her the remote. She smiles and flips through Pay Per View movies for a few minutes, then stops.

"This is weird, but do you just wanna have a little jam session?" she asks. It's the one thing that made all her troubles melt away when they were in high school. Music was her escape, and she needs one now.

He grins. "That actually sounds fun. But we should probably make it a quiet jam session. I have neighbors, you know," he teases, eliciting a little giggle from her. "Come on, the instruments are all in my room," he says as he leads her back.

The walls are white and his bed has navy blue sheets on it. The room is full of musical instruments and random junk, and she's taken aback by how reminiscent it is to the room he used to have as a teenager.

"Welcome to my palace," he jokes, spreading his arms wide. She giggles.

"It's nice. It looks exactly like you," she remarks.

"I'll take that as a compliment," he says with a grin.

They sit down at the tiny bench in front of the keyboard. "Play something," he commands softly.

She smiles. "Fine, here, I'll sing," she says.

And I would kill to know that song  
So I could sing along  
Inside my mind,  
Hope you don't mind.  
I miss that January day  
That I was feeling brave  
Oh those times,  
There's so much time  
Pulling us away

Separating out the parts  
Comparing scars across our hearts  
Where were yours, love?  
Haven't you done enough?  
Screaming sounding distant now  
Wondering when I'll find you out  
What am I, love?  
Was I ever enough?

She stops, and he's just _looking_ and her. She can't read it. He breaks the silence.

"That was amazing, Ally," he says, putting his arm around her and holding her close. She tries to act like the proximity doesn't affect her, but it does. She smiles and breathes in his scent.

"Thanks," she manages quietly, "now it's your turn." She moves over so he can play something. He puts his hands in position to play, then doesn't.

"You know I finally wrote a song on my own when you left?" he says suddenly.

She's struck by this. "What's that supposed to mean? I was holding you back and once I left, you could finally write songs?" Her tone is joking, but she's serious.

He shakes his head fervently. "No, no, Ally, that's not it at all! It's just that...when you left, I was so torn up that I finally had the inspiration to make something," he says quietly.

Her jaw drops. She takes his hand. "Austin..." she whispers. He squeezes her hand and starts to play.

Just like the shadow of a killer in black  
Drive down the road when there's no way back  
Why does the world suddenly seem so wide?  
When we find each other on opposite sides?

Goodbye is a small word with long roads ahead  
Sometimes it seems like forever they stretch  
Now that I realize I'll have to let go  
I'm starting to wonder if I can take so

Much...  
But I believe in love...

It's a long drive, I'll take it each day  
In my mind's eye, I will picture your face  
You're in the back of my wandering mind's eye  
Whenever I say goodbye  
It's a long time, but we'll take it slow  
I'm hoping and praying and wishing you know  
You're in the back of my wandering mind's eye  
Whenever I say goodbye

He stops, and she stares at him, her mouth still gaping slightly. "Austin, that was...so sweet," she says softly. He smiles and hugs her.

"I'm really, really glad I found you again," he says sincerely. She looks into his eyes.

"So am I, Austin," she admits, her heart fluttering.

He smiles and gets up, grabbing his guitar. "Wanna mess around a little?" he asks. She nods. They play music for a while. They revisit Austin's old songs, play covers of songs they both like, and even mess around with some new stuff. Around midnight, Ally yawns.

"Oh come on, you're not _tired_, are you?" he asks, as of being tired is the worst thing in the world. She rolls her eyes at this.

"Hey, I'm not fifteen anymore. I can't just stay up all night," she retorts.

"_I'm not fifteen, I can't stay up all night_," he repeats in a high, derisive voice. She punches him in the arm; he's not affected. "I'll be back," he says. She waits, fiddling with his guitar while he's gone. He comes back with two tall iced caffé Americanos.

"What are you doing?" she asks with a giggle.

He grins. "What, you've never had coffee at midnight?" he asks. She shakes her head.

"Why do you even have those?" she laughs.

"Ally, it's espresso and water. You put the espresso in the cup, put it in the refrigerator, and put the ice and water in later," he explains. He hands her one, and she accepts.

She smiles and take the plastic cup. "Thanks Austin," she says, taking a sip. "Mmm. Obviously hand-crafted by an expert," she remarks with a smile.

He smiles cheesily. "What can I say? I just have a passion for putting ice in cups of watered-down espresso," he says.

"You're crazy, Moon," she laughs as she takes a sip of coffee.

He smirks at her. "I try," he says. They both sit on the edge of his bed.

He grabs his guitar and strums lazily at it. He has the neck, and her fingers strum the strings. They're playing together, playing as one, just playing. His hand moves up the neck of the guitar to brush against hers.

Their hands touch lightly and play together. Suddenly they're ignoring the guitar, and all that matters is their hands, their fingers, every last second, every last bit. Her eyes flash up to meet his, and there's some sort of click, some sort of click that she enjoys, but knows she shouldn't. It's comforting and terrifying, all at once.

"I should probably go home now," she breathes, nestling Austin's acoustic Gibson back down into its stand.

He looks at her with an over dramatic pout. "Already?" he asks, his voice derisorily sad. She giggles.

"Don't give me that. You'll see me in a few hours when we open the store," she says, only half-kidding.

"Actually, I won't. I have real work tomorrow morning," he says.

She tilts her head to the side a little. "Oh, I see how it is. You like selling overpriced coffee to starving artists and hipsters better than you like hanging out with me," she jokes.

"Obviously. You know, my true calling is putting ice in cups of watered-down espresso," he says, his hand on his chest, his eyes full of derisive passion.

She chuckles. "See you tomorrow," she says, heading towards the door.

"I'll get that for you," he offers, opening the door for her. She throws him and appreciative smile and an awkward little wave before leaving with a smile on her face.

As soon as she leaves, reality comes back to her. That's the worst part of escaping: you always have to come back.


	9. Chapter 9

Ally Dawson is a punctual person. She's never late and she never has a problem with getting up on time, or getting up at all.

But today, she's just not feeling it.

She doesn't want to drag herself out of bed. She doesn't want to try, and quite frankly, she doesn't feel like she should have to. She just lost her dad, work is out of control, and to top of all the mess, she's in love. Fantastic.

Her only motivation to roll sloppily off her bed is Austin. She wants to see him again, with his shining brown eyes and his golden blonde hair. She wants to hear his tenor voice and put her arms around his strong body. That's all she's getting up for.

She throws on some jeans and a t-shirt. She doesn't curl her hair, she just puts it up in a ponytail. She grabs her keys and drives to the store, running a few minutes behind.

Austin's there. He's sitting on the bench right near the doors of Sonic Boom. His face is expressionless, like he's waiting to see how she feels first, then he'll decide how to act.

She gives him a sad, forced smile, and he returns with an incredulous frown. Her façade falls and she wraps her arms around him. He returns the favor, rubbing her back softly.

"Trust me, forcing yourself to get out of the house is the hardest part. Once you've done that, you're half way there," he assures her.

She sighs. "Thanks, but...how you do you that?" she asks quietly.

"Come here." He opens the door to Sonic Boom and invites her inside. They sit down on one of the couches together. He clears his throat, then starts to speak. "I was in my third year of college. I was talking to some of my music buddies, and we got onto the subject of families. I told them that I was an only child and my parents co-owned a mattress store, and one of the guys said, 'Wow, you have the most typical American family ever!' I guess he meant it as a compliment, or maybe a joke, or I don't know. But it struck me because it was so completely and entirely _untrue_. Sure, my parents are entrepreneurs and look pretty okay from a superficial perspective, but there's a lot of shit that goes on that people don't know about. First of all, my mom has had a really tough time with depression. She tried to kill herself three times. It's something that our whole family just has to live with. She has to go to therapists, she's on tons of different medications, she was on suicide watch, and she has to put these lights up all over the house because the darkness is bad for her. Plus, my extended family has issues. My cousin has always been sort of distant, and when he finished high school he just decided he wanted to be a hobo. He didn't want to do anything with his life. My whole family was trying to get him to see the meaning in everything, but he wouldn't accept it. He fought with everyone and insisted that he knew what was best for him. He basically fucked up the whole family, then eventually just left. Basically, what I want you to take from this is that families aren't perfect. They're not. You don't have to pretend like it's okay, because honestly, that makes it a lot worse. Everyone has problems. Trust me."

She stares at him for a moment. Her eyes sting with tears. How did she never find out about his mother? Or his cousin? Or anything?

"Austin, I don't even have a family anymore..." she chokes, holding back tears.

Austin shakes his head and grabs both of her hands. "Don't say that, Ally, you do have a family," he assures her, but she's still not believing it.

"I'm serious! I'm not really close with my extended family or my cousins or anything. I don't even have much of an extended family, just a few people. My dad was the only person I had left, and he's gone. I feel like I'm completely alone now," she admits.

His face drops. His fingers curl around hers. His brown eyes are pure and sincere. "You'll never be alone if you have me."

It's strange. When someone dies, normal things like brushing your teeth or making dinner feel so grotesquely _ab_normal. It feels like daily life shouldn't be allowed to go on, at least not yet. Because what feels normal is hospital talk and funeral homes. And that's scary. That's a scary place to be mentally. Everything is backwards and hazy.

Maybe that's why it feels normal when she leans into him, her eyes closed and her lips gently pursed. It feels fine when she senses the warm softness of his mouth on hers. Maybe it's just a side effect of her life being completely turned upside down, but kissing Austin feels insanely and maybe unduly right.

She pulls away first. Her eyes lock with his, and she smiles for just a moment. He returns the gesture and places a sweet kiss on the tip of her nose.

"We should, um, get ready to open," she says quietly, smoothing her skirt and standing up. She's walking away when he speaks.

"I love you, Ally Dawson."

She stops, and turns around.

"I love you back, Austin Moon."

She's trying not to smile as customers enter and exit the store, as kids come in for lessons, and instruments get tested out and sold. She's trying to keep calm and even, but she can't. Because Austin loves her, and she loves him back.

* * *

Someone has to address it.

Austin and Ally are closing up for the day. After their little moment in the store before it opened, their conversations had been normal and strictly business. Ally doesn't want that though. She wants to talk about what happened between them and figure it out.

She just doesn't want to bring it up first.

She's locking up the display cases when her prayers are answered. "So Ally," Austin starts, "I think we need to talk."

She spins around, maybe a little too fast. "About what?" she asks, maybe a little too fakely.

"About our...relationship," he replies.

Maybe a little too soon.

She takes a deep breath. "Relationship as in..." Her words fail her and she's left talking with her hands, awkwardly grasping at things that aren't there.

He shakes his head. "Don't look so scared! I just want to know what exactly happened between us this morning, from _your_ perspective," he says gently.

She smiles and nods. "Well, I think, we, uh, just...just two friends having a moment together?" she says, but it comes out as more of a question.

"Come on, Ally. I'm not buying that. I think it's time we talk about what's going on between us," he demands softly.

She sighs. "It's pretty obvious that I like you," she states.

He nods. "And I'm crazy about you, so I think we should probably make some move towards a relationship. This morning was a good start," he says carefully.

Her eyes lower nervously. "Relationship?" she squeaks.

He looks at her, his eyes full of deep brown concern. "I don't want to scare you. I want to love you."

Her eyes close and she giggles, then her face falls back into being serious. "Look, I know we like each other, but to be honest, I don't know where we're going with this. I don't think I should be allowed to be in love with you, considering all the tragedy that's happened in my life lately. I want to though. When I'm with you, I feel like we're fifteen years old again, and that scares the hell out of me but I love it. I love that I can escape with you, that I can be totally different, that I can be totally _myself._ It's crazy, and you're crazy, and I'm crazy, and I think we could probably be perfect together."

They're silent. All she can focus on is her heart pumping out of her chest. She states at his face, but she can't read it.

"I want that. I want to make you feel like it's okay to forget everything for a while. You need someone who will let you let go," he says.

She nods. "I love you, Austin," she whispers timidly.

He takes a step towards her, not timid at all. His grabs both her hands in his. "I love you too, Ally," he assures her. He kisses her forehead and wraps his arms around her.

She closes her eyes, her face buried in his neck. She's tired and she just wants go home and sleep for a while. He senses this.

"I'll walk you to your car," he offers. She nods and they leave the store, walking towards the parking lot. They're quiet, but it's better than being alone. When they reach her car, she faces him.

"Thank you, Austin," she says quietly.

He shakes his head. "No problem. I'll see you tomorrow, Ally." He gives me a brief hug and brushes his lips against my cheek. She tries her best to smile as she gets in the car.

Her thoughts come in bursts as she drives. Her mind is too tired to race, but too full to stop thinking. Thoughts of Austin, her dad, work, and the future all flash by lazily. That's how she feels lately, like everything is just happening, just passing, and she doesn't even have time to really think about any of it. It's less painful, but it's disappointing too. Everyone has a basic right to stop and think and feel.

She absently pulls her car into her respective parking space and moves upstairs to her apartment. She's thinking about Austin. She's thinking about how he's probably the kindest person she's ever met. She's thinking about how his lips felt on hers, and she pressed her thin lips together as if to keep the physical memories from escaping. She's thinking, and soon she's dreaming, and her focus is still on a certain blonde.

* * *

She should. She really should. She actually has to.

But she can't.

Ally wakes up with no desire to go clear out her father's house. She really needs to though; the house is being taken by the bank in a week, regardless of whether or not she's faced her emotional demons.

She lays in bed, staring up at the ceiling and reviewing her options. She could take the day off work and go clean out the house. She could go after work. Or she could lay there all day and never move again.

The third option sounds tempting.

She decides she'll close up early and go to the house around six once all her lessons are done. As she gets out of bed and starts her shower, it feels good to start the day with a rational plan.

The morning is strikingly average, and that's good. She needs average to balance out all the highs and lows in her life. Average gives her time to think, and even time to not think. Average is good.

Austin shows up around ten. "Hey there," he greets with an amiable smile.

She forces the corners of her lips to curl up. "Hi," she says quickly.

"How are you?"

"Alright," she replies shakily. She bites her lip and rolls it through her teeth, a nervous habit of hers.

He takes a step towards you and grabs her hand. "You sure? Because I'm here if you want to talk about anything. I mean it."

_Yeah. About that. I'm too scared to face the aftermath of my dad's death, my mental sanity is rapidly depleting and I think I'm in love with you,_ she mentally responds to herself.

"I'll be fine. But I do need your help with something. I need to clear all my dad's stuff out of his old house," she explains.

He nods genuinely. "Of course. After work?"

"Yeah, I was hoping we could close up early, around six or so, then head over there," she explains, sorting some violin mutes into a bin. He jumps in and helps her.

"That's fine with me," he says, his tone more tender than it has to be. There it goes again. The cloying sympathy that's almost hard to take. She never thought she'd feel it from Austin, but in this moment, she does. Just a little.

"Yeah," she offers quickly before shuffling over to sort through bills and sheet music. Nelson skips into the store.

"Ally, I'm here for my piano lesson!" he announces proudly. Ally laughs at the curly-haired child.

"Hey Nelson. All ready for your lesson?" she asks, sitting on the stool next to the piano.

The young boy takes a seat on the black piano bench. "I sure am! I've been practicing all week," he says confidently.

She smiles with forced sincerity. "Great," she says. He starts playing, and he pounds the song out in a cutely imperfect way that she's come to expect from Nelson.

He finishes and looks at her with wide child eyes. She submits to a smile. "That was awesome, Nelson! You're really getting te hang of it," she lies cloyingly, but it seems to please Nelson.

"Thanks, Ally," he beams. He stops and changes his tone to a more serious one. "Oh also, I heard about your daddy. My mom told me he died. I'm really sad for you. Can I do anything to make you happy again?"

His tone is so innocent and his question is so simple. It's striking, really; through the eyes of a child, it's not about funeral services and house repossessions and obituaries. It's about finding a way to be happy again.

"You make me happy by just being with me, Nelson," Ally declares. She's making sure not to show emotion, because it'd frighten him. The tears and meanings would frighten him, and she doesn't want to bring him up to her level of emotional insanity, she just wants to go down to his.

"Thanks, Ally," he replies with a grin. He picks out another song from his little Leila Fletcher piano book, and she helps him with it. Her mind isn't wandering and her heart isn't sinking anymore. Maybe she just needs to find a way to be happy again.


	10. Chapter 10

"Ready to go?" Austin asks as they lock up the display cases. They're closing up early and about to leave for Ally's dad's house.

She inhales shakily and nods. "As ready as I'll be today," she says hempenly. He gives her a sad yet somehow reassuring smile.

"Good. Come on, we'll pick up something to eat and go over there. Alright?" he suggests. She gives him a sad yet somehow reassuring smile.

They close the store and walk out to the parking lot. She drives to his house, Austin following her in his car. Ally pulls into her dad's circular driveway and parks. Her trunk is full of empty boxes to haul things away in. Austin graciously carries them in for her.

He puts his arm around her as she jiggles the key into the burgundy front door. The handle turns and they walk inside. Everything is just how she left it, and this depresses her a little. There should be dishes and laundry and other normal signs of life.

"Let's go upstairs to your dad's room," Austin whispers quickly. Ally nods hazardously before following him up the stairs. She takes note of how he goes first and lets her just follow him, and she appreciates this.

He opens the bedroom door slowly. Ally immediately experiences a small whiff of her dad's cologne. Her heart pangs just slightly.

She takes a brave step into the room. It's just as it was left. The bed, the dresser, the TV, the nightstand - all untouched.

"Where do we start?" she asks absently, her eyes drifting over familiar objects.

Austin sighs. "Well, we have to start somewhere. How about we start small. Closet," he suggests, making his way over to the closed door.

Ally's eyes fill with fear. His closet. All the clothes he wore, his crazy tie collection, the leather belts with gold buckles she used to jingle as a kid. It seems like the closet is the most sensitive and personal and daunting place in the whole room. Which might make it a perfect place to start.

It's a walk-in closet. Austin and Ally can both fit in there together. He boldly starts goin through a stack of jeans, and she feels like he's violating something. But then again, what are you supposed to do? Let the house sit there and be a haunted museum of a life that's ended?

She starts going through the stuff on hangers. All his dress shirts. Her eyes fill with tears as memories flood back. It occurs to her that the only thing keeping her from running out of the house is Austin.

"Do you want to keep all of this?" he asks, propping open a cardboard moving box. She nods blankly, still staring and absorbing everything.

He accepts this as a sufficient enough answer. "Okay. I guess we can just start putting stuff in boxes and taking them out then," he says. She takes note of how he's being verbose just to fill the silence with something. She appreciates it, because anything is better than silence.

They quietly pack her father's clothes into boxes. They fill four boxes and take them out to Ally's car. He also helps her move his nightstand out. At this point, her car is full.

"I can take some stuff if you want," Austin offers. Ally shakes her head.

"Thanks for offering, but it's fine. It's getting late and I think we've done enough for today," she insists.

He shrugs in silent agreement. He's quiet for a moment before he speaks. "You know, this place has memories for me too. We'd sit on the couch watching The Big Bang Theory because it was one of the few TV shows we both enjoyed. We'd play piano in your room and write songs. This place reminds you of your dad, but it reminds me of us."

Ally smiles a little too widely, and suddenly she couldn't feel any more conflicted. She remembers everything he's talking about. She remembers being in this house with him when they were in high school. She remembers when everything was so normal, and how she took that normality for granted.

"I liked how we were," she says, and while it's not quite what she intended to say, he gets it. He knows.

"I love you, Ally," he states softly. She moves closer to him and slips her hand into his.

"I love you too," she whispers. His strong arms wrap around her and she breathes in the scent of cologne and fresh laundry. "Thank you for being here with me. For helping me. I'd never be able to do this without you," Ally murmurs into his chest.

He pulls away so he can look into her eyes, but his arms are still around her. "It's no problem, Ally. I like being there for you," he assures her.

She presses her body up against his and kisses his cheek. He smiles and does the same to her.

"We should get going," she breathes. He nods reluctantly.

"Probably. We can come back tomorrow and get more of his stuff," Austin says. He starts to walk away, but he doesn't. He stops. He stands there in front of her, just looking at her. "Have a good night, Ally," he offers quietly. It's not much, but it's enough. It says everything he doesn't want to put into words for fear of overwhelming her. For right now, it's perfect.

"You too, Austin," she replies with a smile. He nods and squeezes her hand before disappearing into his car.

She watches him back out onto the street and tosses him a little wave as he drives off. She finds herself standing alone next to her car. She suddenly feels lost and hopeless because her brown-eyed temporary escape has left and she's been hurled back into the awfully real reality of her life.

She sighs and tries to hold herself together as she drives home. Her mind wanders, and she faintly wonders what her dad would want her to do. She knows what the answer is. He'd want her to be with Austin. He'd want her to rebuild her life. He'd want her to be happy again. As she parks in her apartment building's garage, she can't help but think maybe Nelson's advice to her was somehow sent from her father. Like he was communicating with her through Nelson. Like he wants her to find a way to be happy again. She smiles at this notion and decides that it was undoubtedly a sign from her dad.

* * *

"Need some help with that?" Austin asks as Ally attempts to carry a rather large box of her dad's dishes out to the car.

"A little," she mumbles. She hears him chuckle before lifting the box easily. They're at her dad's house again cleaning after work. It's almost six, and they have filled two boxes so far with things from the kitchen.

"You know, I could take some of this stuff for you and keep it in my apartment until you find something to do with it," he offers. It's simple and kind, but she feels weird about it.

"Oh, you don't have to do that," she replies quickly, opening the front door for him so he can place the box in the trunk of her car. He hauls the box into her trunk and takes a new empty box out to fill.

"That's fine. If you need any help though, let me know," he says. She nods, and they continue packing up the kitchen. She stands on a chair, emptying his cupboards of cups and dishes while Austin sits below her, packing neatly everything into the box. They work in comfortable silence for a few minutes until the silence becomes uncomfortable. She wracks her brain for something to say, a comment to make to fill the haunted space, but he speaks up first.

"I want you to be with me."

She draws in a sharp breath. "What do you mean by that?" she asks with an awkward smile.

He stands up and holds both her hands in his. Even though she's standing on a chair and he's on the ground, she's only about a foot taller than him.

"It means exactly what I said. _I want to be with you._ I enjoy spending time with you and I'd like to do it more often," he explains with a tiny trace of a grin.

She smiles as this. Maybe everything isn't as complicated as she thinks it is.

"Well, in that case, I want to be with you too," she declares. His mouth hangs open for just a moment, lips pursed, before he smiles. He wraps his arms around her waist and lifts her gently off the chair. He fills the empty space between them with a soft kiss.

It's there, in Austin's arms, in her dad's kitchen, in the middle of everything, that she realizes it for real.

"I want to be with you..." she repeats, her soft voice barely a murmur against his soft cheek. He plants a sideways kiss in her hair, and she squeezes him tighter. She feels like she's fifteen again, and that's good. She welcomes it. She knows what she wants and she'll get it, no matter what happens later. In a week, a month, a decade, it'll all be different. Time changes things, and that's entirely inevitable. Right now, she needs to be simple and real and_ happy. _Especially if it means having Austin around.

"You okay?" Austin asks gently, placing her back down on the ground.

She nods. "I'm great," she says.

And for the first time in a while, she means it.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: It's 1 in the morning on a school day and I just wrote this in an hour. You've been warned.**

* * *

"I think that's the last of it!" Austin announces, stacking another box into his trunk. A week after their pursuit started, Austin and Ally finally clean out all of Ally's dad's house. It's late on a Sunday afternoon, and the store is closed all day on Sundays, so they have the whole rest of the day to themselves. Austin is loading the last box into his car.

"Finally. That only took forever," she muses, only half-joking. He smiles at her and nestles the box into his full trunk. He gets everything situated and slams the trunk shut.

"We should celebrate. What do you say to lunch and a movie?" he asks casually.

She gives a hesitant, slightly crooked smile before nodding firmly. "Sure. Yeah, I'd love to," she agrees.

He grins. "Great. Meet at my place at two," he says before hugging her, kissing her cheek and driving away.

Ally sighs and gets into her car. She drives home a little faster than usual.

* * *

It's 1:55 when she knocks on Austin's door. She had arrived at his apartment building at 1:45; she has a tendency to be early for things she was excited for. She restrained herself from her usual style of walking, quick and purposeful, and instead moved slowly and lackadaisically towards his apartment. She also forced herself to take the stairs, wasting as much time as possible.

He opens the door and smiles at her. "Hey Ally," he says gently as he wraps his arms around her.

"Hi," she responds, "ready to go?" He nods and grabs his coat before taking her hand and walking her downstairs to the garage his car is parked in.

"What movie are we seeing?" she asks. He grins.

"'Warm Bodies.' It's like, a romantic chick flick but with zombies. Perfect date movie!" he exclaims.

She stops.

_Date._

"Austin, can we go to lunch first? I want to talk to you," she says. She's suddenly oddly scared of something, of everything, of what's going on between her and Austin.

"Sure," Austin answers hesitantly.

She smiles and nods as they reach his blue BMW. He opens her door and she gets into the car. They drive to the restaurant they silently agreed upon; it's their favorite place to go. Mini's

Luckily, it's not crowded there. Ally wants a quiet and mature place for a quiet and mature conversation. She wants to talk to him - really talk, not just saying what the other person wants to hear. She wants truth and facts and stark, cold talking.

They order their food and sit down at a table. "So what did you want to talk about?" Austin breezes casually as he bites into his burger. Ally shifts her weight in her seat and narrows her eyes, hoping they'll do some of the talking that she's suddenly reclutant to.

"We need to talk about...us." Even though Ally has had a few serious relationships, she's never liked the serious 'us' talks that came with them.

The blonde looks over at her with furrowed eyebrows. "Alright, then. Let's talk," he suggests, still to nonchalant for Ally's liking.

She sighs and decides the only way to say it is to, well..._say it. _"Look, Austin, you know I like you. I like how I am with you. I like how I feel with you. And I appreciate everything that you've done for me and my dad. But I just don't think we should get too attached to each other. Maybe quit while we're ahead, you know?" The regret fills in just as soon as the words spill out. He looks at her across the table, heartbreakingly serious.

"What do you mean?" he asks, and suddenly his brown eyes remind her of a kid. She sighs.

"I know how this is going to pan out, Austin," she explains softly, "I've seen it before." She has; it's a cycle. Meet, talk, kiss, love, fight, leave, done. That's all. That's it. That's life.

"Well, then enlighten me. Tell me how this is all going to pan out," he says. It's almost demanding in nature, and certainly defensive.

She takes a sip of her diet Pepsi before answering. "If we go out, we'll go out for a while. It'll be fun, it'll be great. But then we'll get bored with each other or find someone else or run out of things to talk about and we'll be over. It'll probably be a pretty slow, painful breakup because we'll be dumb and try to stay friends. But after a while we'll both say 'fuck it' and stop talking. Then the credits will roll and everyone will leave the theater disappointed." She's struck by the harshness of her own words. And by the look on his face, he's even more stunned.

"Is...is that what you think I'll do to you?" he asks softly, and more regret colors in the dark spaces of her words that hang between them.

"I'm just...it seems like that's what always happens," she replies, a blatant attempt to depersonalize her little monologue.

He sighs and takes another bite of food. "I guess I'm a little offended that you think I'll just leave."

_You did it once, you'd do it again._ That's what's in her head, but she doesn't dare say it. "It's not that. It's just...relationships are complicated." Perfectly depersonalized. She stops. She didn't invite him here to spit out generic phrases at him. She wants to talk. "Austin?" she asks waveringly.

"Yeah?" he replies, just as unsteady.

"If we were more than friends back in high school, would you still have lost contact with me?" It's a tough question, and she wants a tough answer.

He exhales slowly. "I...I don't know. I regret not talking to you. You know that, right?"

She nods. She knows.

He takes a sip of his drink before continuing. "I understand where you're coming from. I left you once, and you probably assume I'd let it happen again. But the crazy thing is, I don't think I would. I don't think I _could _lose you again. I'd be different without you, a bad different that I don't want to be. I know you don't trust me, and you don't have to. Just give me a chance. I'll hold onto you this time. I mean it."

There's a fire in his eyes. It's something she's never seen on him, not even once, in all her years of knowing him. He's lighter and darker and more real than usual. It's strange and exciting, and she believes him. Every word.

"Austin..." she breathes quietly, speechlessly. He smiles charismatically and takes her hand across the table. She smiles, and she's suddenly suffocated by how public of a setting they've chosen as a backdrop for their groundbreakingly intimate conversation.

"We should go home," Austin suggests with a face blank of anything but sincerity.

She nods fervently. "Yeah, we should go home."

He takes her hands and they walk a little too quickly out to his car. There's a new air of oneness about them, and Ally likes it. It's comforting; she's a part of something.

She situates herself in the front seat of his BMW and smiles over at him.

"You're beautiful," he offers suddenly, but she accepts nonetheless with a coy grin and whispered gratitude. She waits for him to start driving, but he hesitates. He doesn't.

"What's the hold-up?" Ally asks with a giggle.

He stares at her, passionate yet flatly real. "I need to do something," he replies.

There's something so romantic and desperate about kissing in cars. It's the sentiment of a world all your own, just two people, no one and nothing else. It's that very desperation that propels them to Austin's apartment building and swiftly up to his door. It's that same desperation that brings Ally to lay on his bed, her bare legs parted gently. That passion pulls Austin on top of her, kissing her neck to calm her down. And they don't care where they are or what time it is or what the neighbors will think, because it's an action that's long overdue, and it's perfect. It's better than what it is, than physicality, than sheets and skin and tangible things. It's the hope for the hopeless and the passion for the jaded. It's the desperation that pushes them forward and silently convinces Ally to stay in his arms for a little while after. It's the passion and the need that pulls them together. As they lay in bed, Austin whispers something about never letting her go again, and she smiles, welcoming it. Because all he asked for was a chance, and she has a feeling he'll use it wisely.


	12. Chapter 12

After her little encounter at Austin's place, Ally showered in his bathroom and collected herself the best she could before staggering out to her car and driving home, still in shock that any of that had actually happened. He was amazing - perfect, really. He was so sweet and gentle with her while still delivering immense amounts of pleasure to her body. And while she had, erm, _experimented_ a bit in college, she had never let anyone take her all the way. Not until now, not until Austin. And she determines that's a good thing.

It's the next day, and it's Monday. Which means work. Ally wakes up at seven and drinks her morning green tea. She's curling her hair when she gets a text from Austin. _See you at 8:00 :) _She smiles.

Sure enough, when she arrives at Sonic Boom a few minutes before 8, he's there. He smiles politely at her. "Hey," he offers.

"Hi," she says lightly. An awkward silence falls over them as memories of their previous encounter rush back. Ally's cheeks flush a soft pink.

She unlocks the door in silence and they enter the empty music store. She finds some of the previous day's shipments to unload. It's a bunch of new saxophone straps. Austin makes a move to help her.

They unload the box in silence before Austin speaks. "Can I talk to you about something?" he asks seriously.

She braces herself. "Sure, go right ahead," she mumbles hurriedly.

He seems to ignore her tense response. "Please know that what happened yesterday, it wasn't just...physical, to me. It was more than that. It was a promise that I won't let you go this time," he explains. She turns to look at him, and there's an innocent sweetness in his eyes.

"Thank you, Austin," is all she can find to say. He smiles and leaves a light, pecking kiss on her lips.

She turns back to her work and tries her best to hide her smile. He runs his hand along her back for a moment before turning away and unpacking another box of merchandise.

The store opens and kids come in for lessons. Customers file in to buy instruments. The day is exceedingly, perfectly, wonderfully normal. Ally has always had a strong appreciation for normality. More so than other people. She enjoys routine and simplicity and things that go as planned. It gives her time to think.

She finishes up her last lesson of the day at six. Austin is wrapping up a sale on a violin, so she goes over to help him. She answers a question the customer has and shakes the customer's hand before they go.

"Not a bad day," Austin remarks with a smile, "what do you say we close up and go grab some dinner?" he suggests.

She considers this for a moment. "That actually sounds great, honey." The word is out before she knows it, and she wishes she hadn't added that last part.

He cocks his head. "What was that last part?" he asks with a curious grin.

She blushes. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking, I shouldn't have said that..."

She's backed up against the counter in the middle of the store, and Austin takes a step closer to her. He puts his hands on the counter behind her on either side of her waist, boxing her in. "I'm glad you said it," he whispers, and the sensation of his hot breath on her neck elicits goosebumps on her skin.

She can't find words, so she just clings to him, her arms around his waist. He kisses her neck softly, his stubble softly scratching her pale skin. She exhales deeply. He kisses a soft trail up her neck and looks into her eyes for a moment before placing his lips gently against hers.

She kisses him for a moment before pulling away, careful not to let her reluctance show. "We should get going," she suggests softly, even though that's not what either of them really want. Nevertheless, he nods and smiles politely before helping her close up the store.

"Where do you want to go for dinner?" he asks. She considers this and shrugs.

"Wherever. It doesn't matter to me," she responds casually.

He smiles. "Well you probably shouldn't leave this decision up to me. I have something in mind and I'm not sure how much you'll like it," he says carefully.

She cocks an eyebrow. "I'm intrigued. Well, I trust you."

He smirks. "You shouldn't."

* * *

"What is this place?" Ally asks as they enter the restaurant. Well, it's a restaurant of sorts. Most of it is a huge game room. The contents range from classic arcade games to kids' stuff to billiards and air hockey tables. There's a large central dining area. There are some party rooms off in the back too. Up against a wall is a prize station filled with everything you could think of, ranging from tiny key chains and stuffed animals to TVs and game systems.

"This place is the most awesome place ever. It has food, games, music, everything you could want!" Austin explains, beaming like a kid. She laughs at his youthful enthusiasm.

"You're right. I really shouldn't have trusted you," she teases. He elbows her.

"Come on. Let's go play a game," he suggests. They walk over to an air hockey table. Austin dips into a low, over-dramatized bow, holding his hand out as an invitation. "May I have the honor of crushing you at air hockey, m'lady?" he drawls derisively.

She chuckles and places her small hand in his outstretched one. "Why of course you may," she agrees politely. They each take an end of the table and start the game.

Ally finds herself feeling a little embarrassed when she realizes how out of practice she is. Or maybe she's just always sucked at air hockey. Nevertheless, Austin is being a gentlemen and letting a few pucks slide past his defense, buying her a few points.

"Wow Ally, you really don't go out and do things like this, do you?" he asks abruptly as they volley the puck back and forth.

Ally sighs. "Is it that obvious?"

He looks away from the table and up at her, nodding. "Yeah, it is. You stink at this," he jokes, provoking her.

She cocks an eyebrow defensively. "You wanna make this a competition, Moon?" she challenges.

He laughs with feigned bravado. "You really want to go up against this?" he asks, lifting his shirt sleeves up and flexing his biceps. Which are - Ally hates to admit - rather impressive.

"I think this could be interesting," she replies with a giggle.

He gives her a playfully challenging look. "You're on, Dawson!" he exclaims, returning to the air hockey game. She giggles and in a stroke of luck manages to maneuver the puck into Austin's little plastic goal.

"Yes!" she crows. She makes an attempt at a happy dance, but it doesn't turn out so well.

Austin raises an eyebrow and laughs. "What kind of dance is that? The potty dance?" He mocks her, waving his arms around awkwardly.

She hits him playfully in the arm. "Don't make fun of me!" she demands playfully. They return to their epic air hockey battle, and eventually Ally wins, which sparks another awkward victory dance.

"Up for something to eat, Als? I'll pay," he offers sweetly after they finish the game.

She nods and smiles. "Sure, all that winning really makes me hungry," she drawls jokingly, rubbing her stomach. He rolls his eyes and grins.

"Yeah yeah, we all know that you're such a superior athlete," he responds with an eye roll. She giggles and skips over to the restaurant area. They sit at the counter and order, fries for Ally and a bacon cheeseburger for Austin. They also order a few drinks, more for Ally than for Austin. They talk and joke as they eat.

"How about the next portion of our competition be something I'm a little more well-versed in. Billiards?" he suggests with a grin.

She giggles. "Billiards it is," she agrees. She lifts her Cosmo to her lips and takes a drink.

He grins and takes a sip of beer. "I'm honored to be playing pool with such a sexy girl," he remarks with a wink. Ally blushes.

"A sexy girl who can kick your butt," she retorts. She finishes off her Cosmo and gives Austin a kiss. She's certainly not drunk - not even close. Just a little hazier. A little bit more flirty.

They pair make their way over to a pool table and grab two rods. They rub blue chalk on the ends of their rods.

"I'll be a gentleman and let you break it," Austin offers, referring to taking the first move. Ally nods graciously at his chivalry and shoots the white ball, breaking the triangle, sending balls in all directions.

"Not bad," he remarks with a smirk. She giggles.

"Your turn," she challenges. He takes a shot and sends a ball almost flying into the corner, but not quite.

"Ha!" she crows. He rolls his eyes.

"Hey, it's not my fault that I'm not on my game tonight. I'm a little distracted," he admits.

She giggles. "I'm glad I can have that affect on you," she says as she positions her rod to make her move. She manages to knock a green ball into a corner hole. She looks up and gives him a pleased grin.

He rolls his eyes. "Whatever," he laughs. They continue their game. Austin gets the hang of it after a while and manages to win. He performs a victory dance that's a far cry from Ally's awkward spasm. It's cute.

After they finish up their game and leave the pool table, Austin smiles. "How about we just quit while we're tied and call it a draw?" he suggests.

She giggles. "Probably a good idea. Finish the night with a movie at my place?"

Austin nods. "Sounds like a plan." They leave and go back to Austin's car. He walks around and opens the door for her, which she finds charming. They both belt along to the radio on the way home, making harmonies like they used to back in high school. At every red light they get stopped at, Ally leans over and kisses him. They're laughing and kissing and he's driving like a maniac, but it's fine. It's good. It's _fun,_ and that's something Ally desperately needs, and Austin is happy to provide.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry this chapter is shit. I'm so busy and everything is crazy. I'm also losing motivation for this, and starting to work on another separate project. Good things to come though. Thanks for listening.**


	13. Chapter 13

There is this feeling of flying. You feel invincible, wonderful, perfect. It's fragile and dangerous and exhilarating all at the same time. It's when you're with someone that makes you feel real and yourself. It's the way that she feels with Austin.

And she's starting to love it.

He makes her laugh. She thinks about him all the time, even when she doesn't necessarily want to. He has a most amazing eyes and an adorable crooked smile. Plus, he's so damn _hot._

She lays in her bed and sighs. It's 7AM on Tuesday morning, and she should be getting up, but she doesn't want to. Then she thinks about seeing Austin and springs right up.

She gets herself ready, dressing in a peach-colored t-shirt and a grey pencil skirt. She's rummaging around in her walk-in closet looking for a necklace to complete the outfit when she finds something. On the little bookshelf pushed up against the wall is a photo album. She remembers it's from her high school days. She opens it up, and the first thing she sees is a picture of her and Austin, standing backstage at one of his gigs. He has a guitar in his hand and he's beaming. She's standing next to him, her arm around his waist. It's a sweet picture, and she wants to show it to him.

She drive to Sonic Boom, running just on schedule. When she approaches the storefront, Austin isn't there. She gets a text. It's from him. _Sorry Ally, can't come in today. Have work:(_

She sighs and tries not to be disappointed.

_That's fine. Catch up with you later!_ She slides her phone closed and unlocks the large glass door to the store. A customer comes in to inquire about fixing some broken violin strings, a little first-grader comes in for a piano lesson, a high school sophomore attends a voice lesson. Ally even runs out to tune a piano. The day is busy enough that it keeps her occupied.

As soon as she can, she closes up the store. She wants to go to Austin's house and show him the picture she found of them. It's about 6:30, so she drives over to his house, taking one last glance at the photo before walking up his driveway and knocking on his door.

He opens the door, his face hesitant and nervous. Scared, really. Her smile drops.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she asks quietly. He looks down and swallows.

"Ally, this isn't the best time, please..." There's a desperate, begging quality in his voice that terrifies her.

"Austin, what's going on?" she inquires, her mind racing with possibilities.

He shakes his head, increasingly distraught. "Ally I don't...I don't want you to find out like this..." he stammers.

No longer is she merely inquisitive. Now she's as desperate and confused as he is. She needs to know what's wrong. Now.

"Tell me right now, what's going on?" she demands. Her voice is edged with anger.

He hides his face in his hands. The first word that comes to Ally's mind is 'shame.' He's ashamed of something.

"I didn't want you to find out this way..." he defends.

She's yelling now. "Austin just tell me what's going on!"

"I'm engaged..."

She's not yelling anymore. She's silent.

"You're..."

"Yes, I'm engaged to be married to a girl. Brooke. And she's here. And I'm so sorry-"

She never finds out what he says after that, because she turns away so fast it almost hurts. Tears are streaming down her face when she throws the picture down. It floats for a moment before settling in some bushes. She peels away in her car, wishing to drive faster, drive away, but her careful nature keeps her from speeding off. The road blurs together under her tears and then disappears all together. She barely makes it home in one piece. She doesn't know what to do with herself. Her car is parked safely in the parking garage, but it feels like she's spinning out of control. _Engaged. He's fucking engaged._

She doesn't want to be home. She doesn't feel like she is. She wants to rip herself up, to go as far away from everything as possible. So she drives.

She realizes what she wants. She wants her dad. He'd hold her; he'd know what to say. But she can't have him. And the hurt is so massive in her chest that it's a new, foreign kind of pain. It hurts worse than it did the moment he died.

There's one place on her mind. She knows she needs to go there. It's the only thing she can think of. She pulls up to the vast cemetery and parks in the visitor's lot. She knows exactly where it is. She can see it from where she's standing.

She doesn't walk, she runs. She's careful not to step on graves, but she has tunnel vision. She kneels down beside his headstone and presses her face against the cool, smooth granite. Her tears run down the stone, washing away clean paths in the layer of fine dirt. She runs her fingers along the engraving: Lester Joesph Dawson. 1962-2013.

"I need you, dad," she whispers. But no one answers, and it's a feeling she's almost used to.

Almost. If she were truly used to this feeling, it wouldn't hurt.

But it does.

She stays there on the ground for a long time.

She doesn't leave until the sun starts setting and she knows she has to go. Visiting hours only last so long. She runs her fingers along the engraving one last time before drudging back to her car.

Her head is still spinning. _Engaged. _She has so many questions. When did he propose to Brooke? Did he really want to marry her? Did he love her Brooke more than he loved her?

Did he ever love her at all?

As she drives, it occurs to her that maybe she imagined the whole thing. Maybe Austin's feelings for her were platonic the whole time. But the sex. It was so..._intimate, _so delicate, so much more than just friends-with-benefits sex. Or anything of that sort. But it was only once, so maybe it was a fluke. Maybe Ally's life was all just one big fluke.

She doesn't remember the last time she was ever this discouraged. About life in general. It's like the one thing she had hoped could finally work out just crumbled. She wants to know everything, every detail about him cheating, but she also doesn't. It'd hurt too much.

Her head is a fireworks show, each flashing revelation about the situation more painful than the last.

_He didn't cheat on me with Brooke. He cheated on Brooke with me._

_She had him first. He's hers._

_He probably never cared the way I did, and he probably never will._

By the time she arrives home, she's emptied a whole package of tissues. She takes a deep breath and tries to collect herself. She stares into the overhead mirror, forcing eye contact with her own reflection. With herself. She breaks away so she can release an inglorious sob into her hands. Her reflection stares back, disappointed.

* * *

It isn't until she's settled into the couch with a bowl of microwave popcorn and two boxes of tissues that she realizes she hasn't checked her phone in hours. After a short debate with herself, she decides to check her phone.

Austin: Text Message (7) Missed Call (5) Voicemail (3)

She sighs. All his frantic texts and voicemails sound the same to her. She knows him well enough to realize that he's freaking out. He's panicking. He's sorry. But she reminds herself that sorry won't cut it. She realizes what happened. She doesn't quite understand it, but she's willing to admit it exists. She mentally evaluates the situation and asks herself the most relevant question she can think to ask.

_What the hell kind of movie are you supposed to watch when that happens?_

* * *

After digging through her expansive movie collection (mostly the romantic comedies, if you must know) she finds consolation in 10 Things I Hate About You. By the end of the movie she's in tears, the image of Heath Ledger's face burning blurry through her glassy eyes. She walks over to pick up the tissue box she had thrown at the screen earlier. She blows her nose in a horrifically unattractive manner and gets ready for a shower.

She takes the longest, most cleansing shower of her life. She stands under the comforting warmth of the water for what feels like hours. She shampoos twice and conditions, then uses her favorite black raspberry vanilla body wash. She also belts a number of melancholy girl-pop songs before exiting and dressing in sweatpants - her favorite pair, the pink and black ones that somehow feel good whether it's hot or cold - and a Wicked t-shirt.

Her phone rings, and she looks down at it. Austin is calling her. She's tempted to pick it up, but it occurs to her that she has no idea what she would say. Or what _he_ would say. She decides it's best to leave it be. But as soon as a voicemail appears, she listens to it.

"Ally, I...I found the picture, outside, and I know you put it there...that's probably what you came here to show me, isn't it?...God, I fucked this up!...well when I looked down and saw that picture laying in my driveway, I just _knew_ I had to go after you. So this is me going after you, okay? Whether you expected me to or not."

The line is dead, and so is a little piece of Ally. Funny part is, she's not exactly sure why.


	14. Chapter 14

Ally has always loved the concept of sleep. When she was a kid and she didn't feel good she'd always take a nap, because she knew sleep would make everything go away for a while. Admittedly, she still did that sometimes, for everything from headaches to heartaches. That may be why she goes to bed at 8:45 that night. She wants to sleep not to recharge, just to get away for a while.

Her attempt fails. She dreams of Austin.

* * *

Wednesday morning hits her like the worst Monday ever with a severe hangover and a side of pounding headache. At least that's how it feels. Like she's going back to work after being hungover on Austin fucking Monica fucking Moon.

She dresses in black yoga pants and a purple v-neck t-shirt. Yes, she's aware that yoga pants aren't "real pants," and they may not look very professional, but she doesn't even care. She throws her hair into a ponytail without even curling it.

She considers taking the day off, but thinks better of it. She doesn't want Austin to have that much control over her. Well, she doesn't want to _admit _that he has that much control over her. Plus, she's been taking so much time off work lately, she needs to go in for a full day. It'll distract her.

She uses much of the morning digging around through her inbox, paying bills and tying up loose ends. Loose ends. That's what annoyed her most of all. He didn't give Ally a final say as to whether he'd continue seeing her or not. He left a loose end hanging and dangled it in front of her face. And that troubles her. She'd almost rather know it's over than hold onto that tiny sliver of hope.

For her lunch break, she wants tea. She decides to go to Starbucks, careful to go to the one Austin doesn't work at. As she sips her raspberry iced tea, she can't help but imagine a scenario where she runs into Austin by chance at Starbucks, he apologizes, and she takes him back. Sadly yet fortunately, said dream is not realized, and she's left alone sitting at a table with her invoices and her strangely unsatisfying tea.

* * *

It takes all the energy in her body to trudge up to her apartment after the day is over. She's exhausted, mentally and physically. Everything reminds her of Austin, who speaking of which has called her six times and texted her eight times over the course of the day. She doesn't read any of the texts until she gets home.

_Are you okay?_

_I'm sorry you found out that way, Ally, I never meant for that to happen..._

_Ally, please call me..._

The rest still go unread as she tosses her phone onto the couch. Despite her aim, the phone bounces off the cushion and lands on the floor. She gives it a death glare before walking over, picking it up, and setting it on the end table. She watches 10 Things I Hate About You again before going to bed.

* * *

A week passes. A whole week of breathing in and out. Walking up and down. Leaving and coming back. Of ignoring calls and text messages. Of wondering.

It's almost midnight on Monday night. Ally decides to check her e-mail once more before bed, but there's nothing there. At least, nothing she feels like dealing with. She sighs and is about to settle into bed when someone knocks on her door. She's annoyed at this. It's almost midnight! She gets up and walks over to the door and looks through the peephole. Her eye catches a tall blonde with a sorry expression.

She freezes.

It's easy to hate people. It's easy to be mad at people. It's easy to judge people based on one wrong action. It's easy, but it's not right. You have to look at the whole person and not just one action. You have to remember why you ever loved that person in the first place. You have to open the door.

"I'm sorry." It's the first sound either of them make, and it's from Austin. Although she's read bounds of his apologies in text messages over the past week, it's more real now that he's here, saying it to her face. She can hold it.

"You brought coffee," she observes, looking at the tall iced café Americano in his hands. He nods, and a sneaking smile tugs at the corners of his lips.

"Coffee at midnight," he adds. A pang of remercement strikes her, and memories inundate her. Coffee at midnight. Just like the old days in high school. He verbalizes these thoughts before she can even process them.

"When we were in high school we'd always drink coffee at midnight. It was kind of a joke, kind of our thing. Sometimes we'd do it to cram for Spanish or World History, and in the summer we'd do it for the hell of it. Just a few weeks ago we did it for no reason. And I don't know why I'm doing it now. It just felt right. You feel right, Ally.

"I've never been good with words. That's why you're the songwriter here. But I know that when I put my arms around you, we just _know_ things. That we feel things. Please come here and let me hold you."

She's never truly known the meaning of speechless until know. It's not a lack of words, it's an over-abundance of them. It's because everything is coming all at once and you just don't know what to say. Speechless is the most wonderful and terrible thing anyone could be, because it's giving up on words and just knowing the _feeling_ is there, and knowing the other person feels it too.

"Austin...you cheated..." It suddenly breaks her heart to say it out loud.

His eyes fall. "I know. And I know apologizing won't fix it. Not all of it, anyways. But I love you, Allyson Rose Dawson. I do."

She looks down for a moment, everything silent. She invites him into her apartment to talk and they sit down, Ally on the couch and Austin on the juxtapose chair. She's the first to speak after they sit. It's bitchy and spiteful and just slightly awful, but the words scratch the itch in her just the right way as they tumble out of her mouth. "What's she like?"

He tenses up. "She's a great girl. But she's not you," he explains softly. "We've been together for almost two years now, and engaged for three months. She...she gave me an ultimatum..."

She stares at him for a moment. An ultimatum. An ulti-fucking-matum. "Do you love her?" she asks quietly, and immediately feels stupid. Of course he loves her. He's marrying her.

He runs his hand through his blonde hair. "I do. I love her. But I don't think I love her as much as I love you."

Her breath catches in her throat. "I don't know what I am to you," she blurts.

He moves closer to her. "Well I do, Ally. I know what you are to me. You're everything to me." He has never been more serious in his life. She looks at him for a moment, and he stares back.

"I need time. I need time to think about this," she explains, waving her hand before settling her face in her palms. Without her consent, Austin walks over to the couch, sits next to her, and runs his hands along her back.

"I understand. But love you..." he whispers quietly. She knows she shouldn't let him, but she enjoys the feeling of his hand on her back. She doesn't protest when he wraps his arms around her, even though she probably should. She even allows him a few sinful kisses, his soft lips melting into hers. She can't help it; her arms wrap around him, their lips locked, she straddles his lap and starts to-

"I can't."

The words tumble out of her mouth and an abrupt wave of silence slices through her apartment. She becomes suddenly all too _aware _of everything - the room, the situation, and Austin. "You have to go," she demands.

He nods. "I'm sorry Ally. I know. You need time," he agrees. His eyes shut for a moment. "One more kiss?"

She gives in, but she feels like maybe he's the one who's caving. She dismounts off of his lap, and the position suddenly feels so uncomfortable and undue. He leaves her apartment without another word, and she suddenly feels lonelier than she ever has.

She's kidding herself, really. It sickens her how all she wants is to take him back. She knows she shouldn't though. She can't _possibly_ be so weak as to run back to him after he cheated! She sighs. She's suddenly hit by the nothingness of her empty apartment.

It's crazy how quiet a room can get.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Shoutout to raeganb123 for inspiring part of** **this chapter! Also, sorry for the collosal wait. I promise I will crank 'em out faster once summer hits. Anywho, enjoy :)**

A&A&A&A&A&A&A&A&A&A&A&A

Ally wakes up, walks into the living room, sees the melted café Americano from the previous night, and loses all hope for a calm, Austin-free day.

She hasn't even touched it, even though he had brought it for her. She was busy touching other things...she feels ashamed for even getting as far as she got with him, though it was barely anything, really. She sighs. Stupid Austin. She walks over and dumps the watery coffee down the sink.

She can't forgive him. She can't.

A&A&A&A&A&A&A&A&A&A&A&A

Ally is at work teaching a clarinet lesson when the epiphany hits her. She needs to get away. Austin knows where she lives, and works in the same mall that she does. She drives past his apartment building all the time. She's too connected to him. She needs to go back to the city she knows will welcome her: New York.

She starts by arranging the most important thing, which is where she'll stay. There's one person who she knows will let her crash with them, and it's Trish. She calls her up.

"Als! I haven't talked to you in forever!" Trish greets brightly on the other end of the phone.

Ally smiles. She's missed her old high school friend. "Hey Trish. Well, I'm going to get right down to it. I need a favor from you."

"What kind of favor?" Trish asks. Ally hesitates for a moment.

"Can I...can I come up and stay with you for a while?" Her nose crinkles up as she awaits an answer.

"Of course, I'd love having you! I just moved into a bigger apartment, so that'd be awesome! When are you thinking about coming up?" Trish inquires.

Ally is fervently relieved at Trish's eagerness to host her. "Oh, just for a week and a half, maybe two...starting tomorrow?"

The line is silent for a moment, which worries Ally. She starts thinking maybe she's being too forward, that Trish wouldn't want to, that arrangements couldn't possibly be made by-

"That sounds great!" Trish's voice chirp, eliciting a relieved sigh from Ally.

"Thank God. Trish De la Rosa, you are literally my savior," she breathes.

Trish chuckles. "No problem. It'll be fun to catch up with my favorite music major. But if you don't mind my asking, why are you so eager to get out of Miami?" she asks.

Ally sighs. She hadn't thought that far. "It's kind of a long story. And also kinda tragic," she explains vaguely.

"Well, I'll hear all about it tomorrow. Text me, bye!" Trish chirps before ending the call.

Ally breathes a sigh of relief, then one of exhaustion. She doesn't have time to be exhausted, though; she has a flight to book, a suitcase to pack, and an Austin Monica Moon to forget.

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Her flight is at nine in the morning, but she's at the airport at promptly at seven. She doesn't want to miss it - the more she thinks about New York, the better it sounds. Being 1,300 miles away from Austin certainly would help her get over him. Plus, Trish will know how to help. She may not be very loyal to her employers, but she's loyal to her friends. She'll know what to say.

The flight is three hours, and Ally passes it by reading. Her material of choice is a collection of Emily Dickinson poetry. She focuses on losing herself in nature poetry, in vast mountains and unending seas. The flight is three hours, but they pass painlessly.

Trish meets her at the airport. The second Ally spots her friend, she goes running towards her.

"Trish!" she exclaims, wrapping her arms around the Latina. Trisha isn't usually a hugger, but she embraces Ally tightly.

"Als! How was the flight?" she asks, smiling widely.

"It was fine, wasn't bad. How are you?" Ally asks excitedly. It's been months since she's seen Trish, and she really did miss her.

"I've been doing pretty good. Holding a job giving tours of the city, which is fun. How's the store?" The two start walking out to where Trish had parked her car.

"It's okay. Business as usual," she replies.

Trish turns to her with serious brown eyes. "I heard about your dad. I'm so sorry, Als. I know you loved him," she whispers.

"It's okay. Thank you," Ally replies quickly as Trish wraps her arms around her. They embrace for a moment before breaking apart. Trish changes the subject.

"So you will have to tell me what this visit is about," Trish reminds her friend gently.

Ally rolls her eyes. "Still a nosy one, I see," she teases, elbowing the curly-haired girl. "I'll tell the story once we get in the car."

And she does, not leaving out a single detail. Trish is so enthralled by the drama and the romance of it all that she can barely drive, swerving around the road and speeding up at random times. Ally ejects frazzled warnings between pieces of her story.

"I can't believe the Austin I knew would do something like this! And to _you_!" Trish exclaims as she drives.

Ally shakes her head. "That's the thing, he's really _not_ the Austin we knew. I mean, he's kind of the same, but also different. You know?" she remarks.

Trish tosses this thought back and forth in her head for a while. "How is he different?" she asks.

Ally sighs. "We'll he's not as outgoing as he used to be. He wouldn't, like, make a huge scene in public or anything. He's more serious. And he's gotten ever hotter."

"You better have pictures," Trish demands as she swerves into the right lane and takes the proper exit.

"I have a few. I mean, he still basically resembles teenager-Austin, just more mature," Ally explains.

Trish waves a dismissing hand. "Whatever. So what do you know about that Brooke bitch?" she asks casually. Ally's chest tightens up at the mention of Brooke's name.

"Nothing, really. I know she exists. I've never even seen her," she admits, discouraged.

"That's too bad. I want to track her down and find out who she is. He was with her first, right?"

"Yeah," Ally breathes. She doesn't want to think about the fact that someone else had Austin before her.

"Look, Als, I know it hurts right now. But he's still the Austin you fell in love with. You have to remember that he never wanted to do this to you. Things are just complicated sometimes," Trish reasons.

Ally nods. 'Complicated' is something she knows all too well.

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"So what exactly do you plan to do while you're here?" Trish asks as they're in the elevator of her apartment building. Ally sighs. She hadn't though that far.

"I guess I just want to clear my head. I need to be with you, my best friend since middle school. I just need to be out of Miami for a while," Ally explains.

Trish nods understandingly as the doors open. They exit the elevator, Ally pulling her black rolling luggage behind her. They make their way to 516, Trish's apartment. As she opens the door, Ally sees that Trish's apartment resembles her in every possible way. There's a zebra print couch and a hot pink rug in the living room, and impressive collection of CDs and DVDs of every kind, and various types of junk food cluttering the kitchen.

"Completely and utterly Trish," Ally remarks with a giggle. Trish nods.

"I decided that if I was going to have a New York apartment, I'd go all out," she explains. "Now come here, the couch folds out into a bed for you."

The two girls spend a few minutes wrestling the couch out into a twin sized bed. Ally takes a shower while Trish makes the living room a little homier for Ally. They hug and say goodnight before Trish recedes into her own bedroom, leaving Ally laying on the couch, staring at the ceiling. A thousand miles have broken her away from Austin once, and she's trusting that those same miles can perform their happy magic again.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Hi guys.**

**THIS WILL BE THE LAST CHAPTER OF LIKE WE'RE 15 AGAIN! **

**However , I will be posting a short epilogue hopefully tomorrow. Thank you for all the love and support you've shown this story. It's been fun to write. Thank you, and I hope you enjoy!**

**-Lo :)**

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"Ally...Ally wake up!"

The brunette is jostled awake on a Tuesday morning by Trish. She's been in New York for two days now, and to be totally honest, she hasn't done much. Sure, she and Trish went on a rather therapeutic shopping spree, she saw the city, she even had Trish introduce her to one of her hot friends. But mostly she moped around Trish's apartment, partaking in depressing movies, romance novels, and ice cream.

"Why are you waking me up so early?" Ally groans, burying her face in a throw pillow.

Trish rolls her eyes. "Ally, it's 10:30. You never sleep this late. _I_ don't even sleep this late! You must be pretty-" Trish starts, but she cuts herself off.

"You don't have to pretend I'm not the biggest wreck in history. I know it. I'm...emotionally hungover," she explains, and that's just about how it is. She rolls back over onto her stomach and burrows into the couch.

"I literally can't even handle you right now. Come on, let's go do something awesome! Let's go sightseeing. It'll be fun," Trish assures her, but Ally doesn't move. Trish waits for a moment before sighing, patting Ally's back, and leaving to go make some breakfast.

"Want me to make iced coffee for two?" Trish asks.

_Iced coffee_. Starbucks. Austin.

It's been a week and a half after she found out about Austin's engagement, and little things like iced coffee still make her weak enough to cry.

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After her teary morning, Ally goes out for a run. New York in September feels cool and brisk on her Miami face, and she welcomes it. Ally was never very athletic, but running cleared her mind and made her feel a little better. Central Park is bustling with people, but all she wants is to be alone. _Alone in New York City,_ she thinks to herself, _now there's an idea._

Her mind drifts back to the suburban park near her dad's house in Miami. Sperry Park. Ally's dad took her there all the time as a kid. He would push her on the swings, then they'd go get ice cream together and watch the ducks in the little pond. All she wants to do is be at that park again.

And it occurs to her that she could be.

Sometimes in life, people have real, true epiphanies. And right there, running through Central Park, Ally has one. Hiding from Austin won't solve anything. New York can't make Miami go away. And why would she want to be a thousand miles away from home when she could be back in Florida? It may have taken a few days and a plane ride, but Ally has come to terms with the fact that Austin or not, home is home.

She runs back to Trish's house, but it's a different feeling than when she left. She's not running aimlessly for exercise or fresh air or clarity; she's running with pin-straight purpose and bell-clear direction, back to Trish's apartment. Because she had to tell her something.

She catches Trish in the lobby just before she leaves for work. "Trish!" she blurts, only aware of how loud she is after she's already said it.

Trish's face twists into one of embarrassment and horror. "What the hell is wrong with you?" she asks, taking Ally by the arm and pulling her aside.

Ally is smiling widely. "Trish, I'm going home. I need to go right now. I want to be back in Miami. When I was out, I realized that running away from Florida won't make things any better. I need to go down there and face this."

Trish is still for a second before she smiles. "That's my girl," she whispers, wrapping her arms around her friend. "Does this mean you're feeling better?" she asks hopefully.

Ally shrugs and pulls out of Trish's embrace. "It's been a week and a half, and I still feel just as shitty. And I'll keep feeling shitty until I do something about it. I need to pull myself up, and I need to go home to do it," Ally declares.

Trish grins. "I'm proud of you, Als. I knew you were brave."

Ally smiles genuinely. "Yeah. I guess I am. Thanks Trish." And with that she's up the stairs, rummaging through Trish's apartment for anything left that's hers, careful not to leave anything behind.

Ally's dad had always told her that she was brave, but she never believed it. To her, bravery meant firefighters and superheroes and epic battles. She never thought that she was brave; she never applied it to herself and her own actions. But in this moment, she knows it's her turn. Bravery is deciding that it's time to face your demons, that you have to. It's bracing yourself for the impact of coming to terms with everything. Bravery is the point where you stop hiding.

It takes her twenty minutes to pack her stuff, and she's gone, without a second look.

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After some difficulty, she manages to book an earlier flight to Miami. It's an overnight flight, but she takes it. She manages to get some sleep on the plane and by the time they land in Miami, the sun is starting to rise.

She drives back to her apartment to unpack her things and take a shower. She also wants to figure things out. What is she supposed to do about Austin? She runs through the options in her head. As much as she resents it, she still loves him. She just wants things to be back the way they were before she knew about Brooke. Brooke. She can't tell what the name brings about, but she knows it's laced with anger.

She rolls over options in her head. She could throw herself into work and try her best to forget about Austin. She could hide away from him until something better happened. But as she remembers what she told herself about bravery, she knows what she needs to do. She needs to confront him.

She drives to his apartment, remembering the way like the back of her hand. She arrives at apartment 412 and stares at the door for a moment before pounding two delicate triplets into the door.

He looks shocked when he opens the door. "Ally..." he breathes, like he can't tell if it's really her or not.

"Austin, I just want to talk," she explains quietly. Austin nods, his mouth hanging open slightly, like he's trying to say something but the words refuse to come out. He steps aside so she can walk through the door.

They silently walk over and sit on the couch. Ally's mind races with thoughts and memories and she blinks back tears.

"I went to New York," she announces quietly, not quite breaking the silence, just bending it slightly.

Austin takes a slow breath. "That's nice," he says, but immediately swallows, like he's trying to take it back.

"But it didn't help," Ally admits softly. Her eyes are filling with tears, and she's starting to tilt back her head, willing them back into her eyes, down her throat, back into a place where Austin can't see them.

"I, um...I wondered where you were. I missed you," he confesses, and his voice cracks at the end. This is her first sign that he's breaking too. It's the first time that it's really occurred to her that maybe he's just as torn up as she is. Maybe he regrets everything.

"I missed you too," Ally whispers, a certain stigma coating her words. Because she knows it's not right to run back to someone who cheated. But by the same token, it's not right to run away from the only person who's ever shown you real love.

"Ally, I have a question for you," he says seriously. She nods.

"I have a question for you too. But you can go first," she insists.

He hesitates. "Um...how about both at once, okay?" he suggests. She grins and nods.

"Austin..."

"Ally..."

"Would you like to co-own Sonic Boom-"

"-will you marry me?"

And they both freeze, because she doesn't know if she heard that last part quite right.

He reaches into his pocket and comes up with a ring. No box, no bow. Just a ring. It's beautiful. A star sapphire with diamonds.

"Austin...marry you?" she asks in disbelief.

He nods fervently. "Brooke is out of the picture. She's gone. I thought...I thought I'd have to take the ultimatum, I don't know...I wanted to be married, but not to her. I love you, Ally Dawson. Please give me another chance." His brown eyes flash upwards, and suddenly he's the Austin of their sophomore year, sweet and innocent. And it's taken her this long, but now she knows what she wants.

Tears tumble out and splash against her arms, her hands. "Yes, Austin...yes..."

The ring is a little loose on Ally's slim ivory finger, but they pretend that it fits perfectly. She has to admit, it's beautiful. They don't talk, just hold each other for a while.

"You never answered my question," Ally points out quietly with a grin. He chuckles into her soft brown curls.

"I'd be honored to work at Sonic Boom with you, my dear," he affirms. She smiles and kisses his familiar pink lips.

Happy endings aren't as simple as they seem. We all love a good happy ending, but it's not just the sunset and the optimism that makes us cry happy tears. It's everything we went through to get there that makes us smile in the end. Real happiness doesn't come from everything being perfect, it comes from everything being over. It comes from knowing you've made it through the worst. Without sadness we'd never know joy. Without the loss, the betrayal, and the struggle, Austin and Ally never would've known how great they are together. And if Austin hasn't take that leap of faith in a coffee shop, he would've never found Ally again. Sometimes in life, you need to forget the bad stuff so you can move towards that happy ending. And sometimes that ending is all you need.


	17. Epilogue

"Hey, got another one for you," Austin says to his wife Ally as he hands her another paid piano lessons bill. "It's Nelson's," he adds, glancing at the check.

Ally smiles. "Thanks honey," she replies, leaning over the counter to give her husband a kiss. Austin smiles.

"Woah woah there, Ally, save that for home! Here at work, I'm just the co-owner of the store. We need to act professional," he jokes.

"Actually, I believe we need to act professional_ly_," she retorts, poking him in the arm and grinning. He rolls his eyes playfully and continues sorting through the mail.

"Huh. Check this out, it's from Trish," Austin says, handing Ally a piece of mail. Upon examining it, Ally realizes it's a save-the-date for a wedding. A tiny collage of various pictures of Dez and Trish, accompanied by the date, time, and location of the wedding.

"Oh my God, Trish and Dez are getting married!" she exclaims, genuinely happy for her friends. As she tried to return the photo back into the envelop, she realizes there's also a note. She reads it out loud.

_"Dearest Austin and Ally,  
Dez and I wanted to personally thank you for re-introducing us at your wedding. We hadn't talked in years but we are certainly glad we ran into each other again. Wishing you much happiness together and hoping to see you at the wedding.  
Best regards,  
Trish & Dez."_

"Wow, that's amazing," Austin remarks, smiling and taking another long look at the picture.

"I saw it coming. Did you see how flirty they were being at our wedding?" Ally reminisces.

"I didn't notice too much, I was a little busy staring at my gorgeous wife," he says with a grin as he plants a kiss on her the top of her head. She smiles.

"It was amazing. A beach wedding was always my dream," Ally muses. She smiles as memories of the day flood back to her. It's been almost two years, but she still remembers every detail. The ceremony, the reception, the wedding night...

Her train of thought is interrupted by Austin's strong, sweet voice. "Want to close up early tonight? I was hoping to take you to dinner..." he offers shyly.

Ally smiles. "That sounds perfect." She locks up the cash register and display cases before Austin escorts her out. He holds the door for Ally, and it suddenly occurs to her everything that those doors had seen. Those very doors were there when they were fifteen years old, when Ally's dad owned the store, and when she and Austin first started dating. Whenever those doors closed, they always found a way to open on something new.

"Austin?" Ally asks quietly, looking back as she walks away from the store.

"Yes?" Austin replies. Ally sighs.

"We're not changing those doors anytime soon, are we?" she asks timidly, her voice cracking just slightly. Austin grabs her hand.

"Of course not, Als. Why do you ask?" His voice is soft and light and comforting to Ally. He gives her hand a squeeze.

"No reason," she replies quickly, but that's reason enough for Austin. He pecks a kiss on her cheek as they walk back to the car.

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**A/N: That's all I got. Thank you so much for reading. It's really been a joy to write. I'll be trying to update Almost Never Always more frequently. I appreciate every review, follow, and favorite. PS, don't forget to check out my poetry. The link is in my bio. Thank you all dearly for reading! **

**-Lo**


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